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You catch your teen having sex, now what?

I got home today and wasn't expecting the kids home from school for another hour or so, so I was just catching up on laundry and walked upstairs to see mt 15 yo step son going at it with a girl from school! I didn't even know how to react, he knows he is not allowed to have girls up in his room, and especially when we are not home. I mean I guess he is at the age and his dad has had the talk with him a few times before, but whoa it caught me waaay off guard!
It was a embarrassing ackward moment, now I am not sure how or what to do? Should I say something to him about it? Let it go? Tell dh and let him handle it?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Sep. 15, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I think both of you should handle it. You need to talk to him about breaking the rules and what went down. And your DH can join you in that conversation Just because he is a boy doesn't mean you can't talk with him about his actions. If you're not going to be home consider getting a neighbor to be on the look out while you're away or install a hidden camera at the door or somewhere so that there will be consequences. I would also consider talking to the girls parents to see if maybe they should know so they can get her on BC. Maybe it's just my personality but I wouldn't be waiting for my DH to get home. I'd be talking to him ASAP and he'd be grounded and lose his privileges for having a girl in the room. And also having sex w/o even talking to us about it so that we can make sure he is educated about all the detail including his father educating him on how to properly wear a condom.


    Answer by SylviaNCali at 9:26 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Well, i think that depends on your relationship with the child.
    But from the sounds of it, i think the best idea would be to tell your DH.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 9:10 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Tell DH to sit him down. Make sure you talk about protection, he is going to do it regardless so make sure he is safe!

    Answer by Lauren24 at 9:10 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I know when i was 15 I was having sex. My mom found out and sat me down and had a talk with me and she took me to the doc and everything to get on the pill. I know that you are talking about a boy but I would with his father sit him down and have a talk with him about it again and make sure that he has the proper protection no matter if this girl is on birth control or not. There are diseases out there that she might not know that she has or vice versa. All you can do is just make sure that he is protected! Plus I think if hes not allowed to have someone in his room he should be punished or something for that. Thats breaking a rule no matter if hes having sex or not

    Answer by Goingthruitall at 9:19 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Talk to him about respect and responsibility. He needs to understand that he is not to have girls in his room, ever. He needs to know about protection and that if a girl becomes pregnant, he will take on that responsibility.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:45 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • My daughter (16) has been in a relationship for a yr and a half. We already had the talk, the doc visit, and bc was started. About a month ago, I caught her giving him a hand job, in her room in my HOUSE! I kept my cool and sat down with her and him. After the rules were restated, I simply stated that I woulnt encourage a relationship that could impregnant my daughter. I didnt forbid them from seeing each other, I just stopped driving her to see him, they arent allow anywhere in the house but the kitchen, living room, and dining room.
    They both understood, and have been very mature about the whole situation. OMG! That was an eye opener for me!

    Answer by momsbreak5654 at 5:12 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • If I was the girl's mother (I have a 14 year old daughter), I would want to know.

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:15 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I would notify her parents & have dh talk to him. He should definately have consequences for breaking house rules.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Maybe you should leave it. He was going to do it sometime, hes a 15 year old boy, for god sake! Just be thankful it was in your house where you can keep an eye on him (not literally) instead of somewhere in a dark alley or something. Just get his dad to talk to him, not some big talk but just something small, like 'i know your at that age, and before you go off on one, just know im here for you, and makesure your using protection." And then make a joke of it-my oldest had sex early, and my husband made it into a joke, and he promises he uses protection, and my other half takes him for a check up for any STIs every 3 months. And he knows what he gets if he has

    Answer by Ellie_Louise at 1:36 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Ellie Louise, you have serious issues! Children need to be taught not to give into every temptation in this world. There is a time & place for sex & it is not at 15 yrs old.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 AM on Sep. 19, 2009