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How do i maintain physical custody of my 2yr old. my ex filed custody to get out of paying child support?

Of course I want what's best for our son but my ex left me and the child remained in my care since he was born and now that he is getting child support garnished he wants to have full custody what can I do to make sure I continue having fully custody . I don't mind havin joint I just want him to live with me.
On his petition he stated that he wanted full custody because I work long hours. WTF??? Am I not supposed to work? I wish I could stay home and raise my child all day...but then I would be relying on the gov't right?
My 2yr old is in a certified headstart program and he loves it. I work 12 hr shifts 3 days a week and go to school pt 2 days a week while my son is in headstart. I am always there for him at night and always get in quality time with him on a daily basis. He on the other hand is a police officer and he works night and does alot of OT , so ther nerve of him to even say I work long hours.
Plz help!!!

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Asked by Divalish at 9:48 PM on Sep. 15, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Ask him if he'll go for joint custody instead. If you both can get what you want there really is not need to pay out thousands of dollars in legal fees to come to a compromise. Ask him, if he says no, find your legal aid and ask them to talk to a mediator. A mediator will get you two together to work out a resolution.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:52 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • If you've been the primary caregiver and he has NOTHING besides you working long hours to go on, he isn't likely to get full custody. BUT that's if that is all, and each judge is different. When you go, feel out how the judge is looking at the situation. IF it seems like he's not in favor of transferring full custody, then just let it go. BUT if the judge seems to be siding with your ex, state that you'd allow him to take the child the 3 days a week you work. It's better that than full custody.

    Answer by Jafra_mommy at 9:54 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • I think you should share custody so he doesn't have to pay child support. If you're working that much, you probably don't need it, he knows that he can care for the child too instead of paying you!

    In simpler terms, he would rather spend time with his son than pay you.

    Answer by prettyrayray at 9:54 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • You hear this all the time...

    My X filed this and that to get out of child support...

     Did it ever ac cure to you that maybe just maybe Daddy has rights too..

     What about having shared custody...?? If he is a good father, not abusive...ok he sucked as a husband...but if he is a good father what about you child having TWO parents...???



    Answer by Dannee at 9:55 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • legal, not everywhere has mediators, and she doesn't have to pay for a lawyer, especially if he is pro se.

    Answer by Jafra_mommy at 9:55 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • But to answer your question, get a lawyer. I don't see why any mom would want to keep her kid away from their dad. It sounds like he's a good dad, he has a job and wants his son..............

    Answer by prettyrayray at 9:56 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • A mediator is an excellent choice...

    Check your state..

    Answer by Dannee at 9:57 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • It is very hard for someone to get full custody of a child. The only reason why I got full legal/physical custody of my kids is because they dont know their father. The courts wants both parents in the kids life so the court would most likely not award him full custody just because you work 3 days a week. They would most likely award him joint custody. It is always scary to go to court when it concerns your children though. Good luck.

    Answer by alaskansglmom at 9:59 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Since your child has lived with you since birth then the father has little chance of getting full custody. I would offer the three days u work and him still pay child support. He needs to help support him financially also.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:07 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

  • Unless he can find you unfit, there's not a great chance that he will gain full custody. They most likely will work out a joint custody situation...maybe with his father on your work days, you on your school days, and rotating weekends. I agree with talking to him and seeing if you could come up with a solution without taking it to court. Good Luck!

    Answer by KennsWifey at 10:16 PM on Sep. 15, 2009

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