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What's a good marriage?

Not mine!

I'd love to know how yours is good though.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I think that depends on the dynamics of each couple, but there does need to be some sort of healthy and open communication, honesty, intimacy and respect.
    Sorry that you are unhappy hon, have you thought of marriage counseling? Have the problems been ongoing or are they more recent? Does DH know how you feel?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • 1st, I don't believe I've ever seen a perfect marriage. Even the best, have rough times. I'm happily married for 21 years, & I agree with Anon above. Good communication, honesty, intimacy & respect are all important. You also have to be able to forgive each other for imperfections, accept some of them, & move on. Both partners need to put each other first. You need to be compatible in the bedroom, & probably have similar values & goals.You should be each others biggest fan. My husband & I try to take care of each other. He's the most important person in my life, & believe that I'm the most important person in his. Our kids are a priority to both of us, & we've never neglected them, but we don't neglect each other. We both prefer to spend time with each other than anyone else. We're friends, lovers & partners, & we're committed to our marriage, even when it's hard. Sometimes you have to make a decision to love.

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:29 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Mine is a good marriage because, for one thing, we're friends. We trust each other, and can talk to each other, and can rely on each other to encourage each other and to also be a reality check when we need it ;-) We respect each other, and we can trust each other. Plus, we know that even when it's hard (and sometimes it IS hard - marriage isn't always easy) - it's worth it, and we know we can trust each other to be willing to work through the hard times.

    We have fun together - not just as parents, and not just in bed having sex, but as friends. The rest of it is good, too ;-)


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:24 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I have been married 21 years and I have a good marriage, but how do I define a good marriage?

    Like the others have already said, love, trust, respect and communication make up the 4 cornerstones of a solid foundation, the rest is up to the couple and what works for them.

    If you are unhappy then you need to figure out exactly what it is that is making you unhappy.  If it is something that can be worked on, then you need to talk to your dh about it and possibly get marriage counselling.  If it is not something that can be fixed then you need to end the marriage.


    Answer by beeky at 7:30 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • A good marriage begins with the knowledge that your spouse is not responsible for making you happy. I am responsible for my own happiness. The second most important thing to realize is that, as a wife, it is your responsibility to see to it that your husband becomes the very best person he is capable of becoming and of reaching his full potential. What happens when you put the focus on the other person, rather than on yourself, you will find yourself absolutely fulfilled in your marriage. The union becomes more "us" oriented and less about "me.' You will have shared goals and there will be a new bond of friendship that develops. It really takes a lifetime to learn how to make it work. I've been at it now almost 45 years, and my husband and I are still learning about each other and we appreciate one another more with each passing year. I think young people expect too much too soon and have not been taught the rules.


    Answer by NannyB. at 8:02 AM on Sep. 16, 2009