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Parenting advice needed please

My son is 5, my daughter 3. What am I doing wrong? They are screamin meanies. If they don't get what they want they throw fits. My son will even slowly throw his body on the floor and start a fake cry. My daughter just crys constantly, she'll just walk up to you screaming and you have no idea why and she won't tell me, just scream.
It's not over material things. Some examples are: going through a drive thru and not inside, not have something to drink on hand, having to sit in the car while one parent goes in the store, not allowed to have a particular food. We will go to the park for the kids and after we leave they will be hell on wheels on the way home, right after we just did something nice for them.
How do I stop all this screaming and crying going on?

Answer Question
 
Rae-Rae05

Asked by Rae-Rae05 at 9:43 AM on Sep. 16, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Ignore them when they do it. All they are trying to do it get their way. Who is the parent? You or them? My son is 5 and started kindergarten this year and he still throws fits every now and then. Depending on how bad he gets I smack his butt and send him upstairds to his room. He knows that when he is up there he is not allowed to play or watch TV and if he does Im calling daddy. I know some parents dont believe in spankings but my kids are alive and Im alive and I used to get beat...not smacked. I would never ever beat my kids but they need a good butt smack every now and then. Just tell them to stop, threaten to take something and then actually do it if they dont listen and ignore them. If they get mad about the drive thru dont go there...just go home!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • If you stop letting them think they will get everything they ask for they will stop doing this. I use to tell my kids when they were young. "Don't ask for anything, because you will not get it. If I want you to have it I will give it to you". When we would go out to store I would definitely say that before we entered the store.  The more they asked the less they got thing.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:51 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Well, it sounds like you are starting out on the right foot, you aren't giving into them. As long as you keep that up, you are headed in the right direction. I know how annoying it is to have a child scream in the car. One way i found for leaving places is give them a count down when it is close to time to go. So i say, 'we are leaving in 10 minutes.' Then again at 5 and 2 minutes. That way, our dd knows that she is almost done playing. As far as the other things you listed, you can tell them that they didn't behave and therefore don't get the privelage of going in the store, restaurant etc. and also let them know that sometimes they dont' get want they want, after a while, my dd quit trying. and foods they are not allowed, depending on what it is, could be a treat if they do have a trip in the car and are good or some other reward for good behavior.
    KEHMom

    Answer by KEHMom at 9:53 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I would definately start using a time-out bench, or putting them on a step or in a corner when that behavior starts. If your son throws himself onto the floor, you pick him up and go sit him on a chair. If he gets up, you just simply walk him back, no yelling or talking. Once he has sat quietly for 5 minutes (1 minute per year of age), then you get onto his level and look him in the eye and ask him if he knows why he had to sit out. After a few times, he'll get it. You can do this with your daughter as well, but explain to her that you can't understand her when she is screaming and crying, and when she is ready to talk in a normal voice then you will speak to her. If they misbehave on the way home from the park or a store, the next time that you go, stop the car and tell them the rules for that outing. Such as, "Today Mommy is taking you to the park, and when I say that it is time to leave, it is time to leave" (cont.)
    emnasmom

    Answer by emnasmom at 1:25 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • (more) "If you choose to behave badly on the way home, Mommy will not take you to the park tomorrow." Give them a 10 minute warning before you are ready to leave, followed by 5 minute, and 2 minute warnings. If they misbehave in the car on the way home, simply put them on time out when you get home. If they ask the next day to go to the park or the store, you simply tell them that they lost the privilege by misbehaving the day before. They are only screaming and crying to get your attention, don't give in to it, ignore them if you can. They have already learned what buttons to push to manipulate you, and if you don't fix it now it can only get worse. Best of luck Mom, you'll do great!
    emnasmom

    Answer by emnasmom at 1:29 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • wow sounds just like my daughter...i used to be calm and collective and firm when dealing with her and seeing her throw herself down on the floor and kick and scream for something BUTTT then i got some sense and asked her to stand up and go to her room and to sit on the bed so she aint stomping on the floor making it sound like im throwing her around. and if she chooses not to do it the very first time i say get up i pick her lil behind up and fan it 4 or 5 times until she knows i mean business then right up to her room she goes. let them learn to be scared to push your buttons mannnn im telling you this worked for me when i was a child. Here i am trying to give advise tho when i need it too. But my daughter is ADHD and has ODD. Very Defiant child!! but ima still let her know whos boss yess indeed....love her to death tho..my lil pumpkin!
    LadyJaysMom

    Answer by LadyJaysMom at 2:23 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

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