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I'm stressing out BIG TIME. Anyone w/experience w/9 yr olds or older please READ

I have a 9 yr old dd & shes stressin me out to no end. NO BASHING. I had her at the age of 16 & it's been a struggle to raise her since the day she was born b/c I was so young & her dad isn't around. There's still so much I don't know how to handle. My daughter has been doing things that are worrying me to death. Last school yr, her teacher informed me she was taking clothes to school & changin into them when she got there. Not revealing clothes (she doesn;t have any of those) but clothes that i pick out that she didn't want to wear. Then there was boy issues, she wanted to have boyfriends & flirting w/boys. I nipped this in the bud & havent any problems with it since last school yr. But yesterday she wore my makeup to school, it was just mascara but still she knows she's not supposed to do that!! When I find out, she always lies about what she did. ALWAYS LIES. I worried she will end up like me-pregnant at a young age. HELP.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Sep. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Promise I won't bash but do you have friends around that may not be the best influence on her or does she see you doing anything that are not kid friendly? There are so many things maybe she is not hanging out with some not so good kids, I realize she is only nine but now a days you never know. I did want to say WTG for raising your daughted on you own!! Good luck mom if you want to message me and we can talk somemore go ahead!!! Good Luck and don't give up!!

    Answer by Korysmom96 at 10:18 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • maybe if you sit down and have a talk with her about what happened to you when you were so young. maybe not all the details but at least enough to get through to her. she may roll her eyes or pretend to not listen but usually with anyone, something sticks. ihave a daughter on the way but i did grow up helping my mom raise her 8 kids and 7 of them were girls. i am the oldest so i helped out alot. don't give up. she will come around. it may just be a phase. gl

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I have a 10 yr old daughter and she had a lieing problem for quite some time, she is comming out of it now, but I had to tell her over and over for several years, what lieing was and I would explain the consequences. You can give her examples of what will happen if she continues to lie. Are you there in the morning when she's getting ready for school? I get my kids ready and I would know if they had make up on or extra clothes in their back pack. I think you need to just watch her more and be more strict. If you let her get away with it now you will have more trouble when she is a teen, believe me I have one of those too....better start getting prepared! Good Luck to you

    Answer by kimmee.h at 10:38 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I agree that you need to get control of the situation, but I also think this is fairly normal. She's testing her limits. What are her friends doing, what kind of television is she watching. It sounds to me like you are strict (personally I think that's a good thing) & she's still choosing to break the rules. I'd sit down & talk to her & explain your rules, & what the consequences will be if she chooses to break them. Try to make them logical consequences. Then I would let her know that she can also be rewarded for mature behavior. I'm not sure what the clothes thing is about, I think most girls like boys at that age, but don't admit it, so that's pretty normal, & as for make-up, I would be her some clear lip gloss, & pink nail polish, 7 let her know how old she needs to be for more. I'd also try to involve her in some other more age appropriate activities. Girl Scouts, or sewing lessons (to create her own styles).. Good luck!

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:31 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

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