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Why do some women let themselve go after getting married??

Why do some women let themselves become overweight and dumpy and then complain that hubby is not attracted to them, or worse, that hubby is cheating. I mean really, what man could be attracted to a fat slobby woman that is miserable and no fun to be around. Especially when she was not like that when they got married. Don't you think we have some obligation to keep ourselves "up"...isn't it disresectful to your hubby and marriage to not take care of yourself?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • i guess its good i was already fat & slobbish when my DH married me *rolls eyes*
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 1:19 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • confused

    bringin

    Answer by bringin at 1:21 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • you DO realize just because someone is "overweight" doesn't mean they are NOT attractive & fun to be around. There is so much more then looks to a relationship. Bodies change. people change. & its pretty sad if all your "marriage" is based on is looks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • It can be very hard to keep yourself up, especially when you have a family. I have 3 children, ages 5, 3, and 6 months. Everyone else comes first. I have always put myself on the bottom of my "to do" list, but the list gets longer all the time, and I never get to myself. I haven't bought any nice clothes for a very long time. My closet is full of comfy t shirts and jeans or sweats. I would say most women do what is quick and convenient, leading to more frumpy looks. Also, stress is a big factor, especially if the DH doesn't chip in. My husband helps me alot around the house, but I can still get stressed.. leading to bad moods...... So much to do, so little time.
    kassie726

    Answer by kassie726 at 1:23 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I would worry less about disrespecting your husband and more about your own feelings. If your only motivation for taking care of yourself is that you dont want to offend your husband then you need to work on your self esteem.

    Do I feel guilty that I have my hair in a ponytail and I'm wearing jeans and an old t-shirt, and no make-up ? No I dont I have been cleaning the house and why waste my time putting on make up to scrub the toilet? Who am I going to impress the toilet gods?

    I may not be the weight I was 15 years ago but thats reality, and my husband loves me just the way I am. if yours doesnt then maybe there are bigger issues.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • i am not saying that being overweight is a problem...what im saying is that if hubby marries you when your are *slimmer* and take care of yourself (hygiene, personal habits, clothing)...why are some women amazed that hubby is no longer attracted to them when they become dirty and dumpy and obese??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Although I'm probably going to get bashed I will weigh in on this and say that I agree with you. My dh has never been attracted to larger women, knowing that I'm very aware of my weight and keeping myself in shape. Not because I think he would leave me or cheat on me, but I want him to be proud of his "hot wife" and I love knowing that he gets turned on seeing my body when I'm changing clothes. I know that he appreciates my intellect as well, and I also do things to keep that up - since I'm now a SAHM I do crossword puzzles, read the newspaper, and Sudoku. It's not all about physical appearance, and people and things change with time, but if I can do something to keep my husband on his toes, why wouldn't I? If I look sexy, I feel sexy - and I like that way that feels.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:28 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • hmmmmm lets see I am a busy mom with 3 kids, I have a home to take care of, so umm yeah I am not going to get all dolled up everyday. I was a size 5 when DH and I starting dating, I am now an 18, he knows and has clearly stated that I got that way having his children and that makes me even more beautiful to him. I dont over eat, I excercise, you change over the years, No one looks the way they did 15 years ago.

    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:29 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • if your husband married you for the RIGHT reasons, it shouldnt matter if your legs fall off, you become so fat you cant walk, and you never wear makeup or cute clothes again, the love shouldnt change. i am not the same that i was when i was married but my husband still looks at me like he did the day we got married.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I think most people here are missing the point that the OP was trying to make. She never said anything about getting "dolled" up of putting make up on when cleaning the toilet. Sounds to me like she was talking about taking "care" of oneself...you can still take care of yourself if you have kids, you can still shower and eat right. Wow...defensive much???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

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