Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How would u feel if your childs dad and childs dads mother kept your baby a secret?

I just found out today that other than his mother and brother, NO ONE knows about our son, I called and offered to bring him over to see both the father and grandmother today, and his mother told me not to come over because my sons fathers grandmother is there for the next few weeks and she didn't want her to know that her son (my sons father) had yet, ANOTEHR, baby. I found myself offended and hurt by this-
His sisters and father and grandmother has NO clue about the baby but they all know and see all his other (3) children. Whats wrong with my baby that no one can no about him? Im sad, and confused...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (6)
  • Can you explain a bit? Who did he have these other kids with? How long have you been with him, are you married? How old are you both? Not that any of that excuses their behavior, but I'm curious... What's the story with the mother of his other kids? Is she involved, were they married?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:26 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Were not married but have been off and on for 3 years- I'm done playing the games with him thou, so I broke up with him but we do our best for our son- he (my sons father) has three other kids by three other women- He was married shortly to one woman (less than a year) and the other two were very short relationships- a few months or less. I feel that since we have been together for quite sometime now-and we raise our son together for the most part that its absolutely RIDICILIOUS that My sons a secrets, and all the other children are not. I'm 21, and he is 29, its not like we were TOTALLY irresponsible, yes, our son was NOT planned, but neither was any of his others...obviously...

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • to have four kids with four different women IS irresponsible, if i was her i'd be ashamed too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I understand its wrong and shameful to have 4 children by four mothers- but My SON didn't do anything, he deserves the best. Yes, I was stupid, and had sex with the WRRRROOONNGGG guy, but I was on birth control, so I don't even feel I was at fault, even though, deep down inside I no I was at fault as well. He is a good man regardless of his EXTRA fertility, good to his children, good to me, so I didn't think it was horrible when I found out I was pregnant. I feel bad for my son, not for me, or for his father. My SON should NEVER have to remain a secret from his family.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I agree with you onthe above - not your childs fault... this is not right and maybe you should think about whether or not you want these kind of people involved in your child's life or not (Obviously the dad - but I just mean limit your contact w/the extended family etc). As the saying goes: "When people show you who they really are - believe them!" A child is innocent - period!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I'm that kid.

    My paternal grandmother did not know I even existed until she bumped into my maternal grandparents and I out in town. I was five years old. My bio-father, for whatever his reasons - I've never asked, decided not to tell his parents my mother was pregnant. My paternal grandfather died when I was an infant, never knowing he had a granddaughter.

    I can't say what it's like as a child's mother in this situation, but as the child, it STINKS. Imagine what it does to your self-image when you grow up and find out you were somebody's "dirty little secret". It screws you up pretty bad.

    People need to grow the hell up and stop trying to stigmatize the child in these situations, cause of all the people involved, the KID is the one with no choices and a lot of the fallout.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Just for Fun
Its raining...