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How do you get in the mood to start having sex again after baby?

Lately I feel like a b**** that is just here to raise his kids and nag, and blah blah blah.....
I don't feel sexy, and DH wants to get back in the sack... the longer I hold off though, the more his frustration builds up, and it seems his love for me slips away. This is not entirely true, or extreme. if I told him about this feeling he'd think it was ridiculous, and untrue.
He is actually supposed to fire off 30 times in a certain amount of time, 'cause he just got a vasectomy.
The midwives said I was good to go 4 weeks PP, and I am creeping up on the 6 weeks that I felt more comfortable waiting until. So I need ideas. I just can't picture myself being a person who has sex. I am simply a mom, and need to adjust my feelings on this..

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Asked by Destiny13 at 2:00 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • The best thing to do is start with playing around...don't worry about the sex yet, it will come. Once you start getting more into it, the more you will want it and the farther you will go. also, if you don't have any, I suggest getting a good lube as hormones and giving birth will make it a little difficult to get lubed up properly for some. Get him the 30 gun salute then worry about getting in deeper. he is probably all upset because you have all this time for the baby and he (the other baby) isn't getting any time. It will all work out.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:05 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I didn't feel like having sex even at 6 weeks, I felt different about my body, appearance, I was tired, and was more focused on being a mommy than being sexual! But then I would try to do it at least once a week, where me and hubby would stay up later than usuall, light some candles and be intimate like we used to be. Take things slow, and get used to each other again.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 2:10 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Be glad he wants too. My hubby changed after we had baby- he puts sex last on his list- he wants a clean house. meals, quiet so he can watch sports and I resent him now for not helping at all with the baby he helped to create. I'm tired but willing, he is the problem- he would rather watch sports. We used to have sex once a week, now its once a month- with me asking him all month when we r going to get together. He acts like he doesnt have the time and it is quick now too. My child is 15 months and I love my baby or I would have left him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I feel you! I'm having a hard time getting in the mood too. We have a 6 month old and we've had sex once since she was born and it was quite a few months before she was born that anything happened. Fortunately he is very understanding and patient. I'm losing a lot of weight, so I'm finally starting to feel a little more sexy again. If you get any great advice or ideas let me know.....

    Answer by frat_twin_mama at 2:39 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • honestly, it used to take nothing more than a sideways glance. but now that i've got so much stuff on my mind and i'm exhausted at the end of each day, it takes more and more convincing. i need my husband to be NICE and helpful. i need him to let me bitch about my day. i need him to rub my back or let me have 30 minutes to myself after the baby goes to bed. when we're actually in bed, i need him to spend time focusing on foreplay. this is very new territory to us both, since it was never like this before. but he's catching on, which means he gets sex more often. i get what i need and i give him what he needs, which fulfills us both.

    Answer by nemiller at 7:36 PM on Sep. 16, 2009


    Answer by Linsigirl26 at 8:03 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • you could give him a handjob, or do side by side self stimulation or stimulate each other. a lot of times if im not in the mood and we do one of the last 2 i suggested but he holds out on actually orgasming then it gets me in the mood for what he wants and by that time i want it too.

    Answer by rainbowrays85 at 9:33 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I do handjobs, and BJs, rainbowrays. The problem is I don't want to do anything involving me having sex. I think it's mental. Confidence maybe. I don't know. I just realized today that I'm kind of a selfish person. I never thought I would be, but I guess I am, now... Oops..

    Answer by Destiny13 at 5:20 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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