Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I evict my abusive 19 year old daughter?

At 17 she assaulted me and vandalized our home. I pressed charges and she spent 3 weeks in Juvenile Detention and 4 months in a Detention Group Home. She moved in with her boyfriend at 18...it did not work out and we took her back. Big mistake. She is defiant and one day we called the police and he said in front of her "you need to support her since she is still in high school and you better work it out with her". Now she rules the house!! However, we called our local police station and the officer said the cop was wrong... we can evict her since she is legally an adult. She is in the 12th grade and is failing and her guidance counselor said she can repeat the 12th grade. We are afraid if we call the cops again for abuse and violence and they agree with the first cop, then we have no leverage at all. Or if we go to court, they will say Counseling. Did it for 2 years with her...did not work.

Emotional abuse! Help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (13)
  • If she is over 18 you can kick her out. Period. Here in Indiana you can kick them out at 16. Just pack her crap and put it on the lawn. If she raises a stink, call the cops and tell them she's trespassing. Also there's a group on here called Tough Love Moms for moms of "troubled teens", maybe you should join.
    JerbysMom

    Answer by JerbysMom at 4:26 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • i agree with her kick her out it is your house. throw her stuff out and change the locks
    jessicasumner20

    Answer by jessicasumner20 at 11:23 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Kick her out. She's 19 yrs old and needs some hard reality. She'll learn when she had no place to live that she should've respected you and your home.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 12:03 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Wow what a brat. Put her stuff on the lawn.
    I am 19 and I live with my boyfriend and daughter, I cannot imagine living with my mother and giving her that hard of a time!
    Reminds me of some girls I know around here, always bitching about their parents. I always tell them to shut up and respect their parents.
    BambiF

    Answer by BambiF at 1:16 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • You need to come to grips with the emotional aspect of this problem. Put the problem where it belongs, on your daughter. If she's treating you like this now i assume shes had an attitude for most of her life (which you have to accept some responsiblty for). Make up your mind what you really want, tell her and STICK TO IT.
    Phase3

    Answer by Phase3 at 1:47 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I agree stuff on the lawn change the locks and if she makes a fuss call teh cops, sometimes I think cops just like to get out of doing paperwork. Once when I lived in a group home a girl stole from me and the staff call ed the cops the cop told me I shouldnt bother pressing charges because she would just do it again.... wow, so apparently we dont need to put killers in jail either cause it wont stop the behavoir, what a moron. If she lays a hand on you its assualt and you should most definitely press charges but for now boot her out and tell her good luck
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 8:59 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • That cop is wrong. Her being in high school has nothing to do with anything. His personal opinion of parenting is not the LAW.
    She is 19. She is an adult.
    Kick her ass out.
    It's one thing to be disrespectful(enough of a reason to boot her out right there) but to be violent and destructive? That's enough to have her thrown in jail....which would give you some time to change your locks and pack her stuff up and leave it outside.

    Talk to a lawyer, find out the proper, legal way to evict her. You will have to have it in writing and will have to give her notice. Chances are you can just kick her out whenever if there is no rental agreement.
    If she gets violent or makes threats, call the police and have her arrested. Just because she is taking her sweet time finishing high school doesn't mean you have to put up with this crap in your own home.
    It is YOUR house.
    Tough love is called that for a reason. It's tough.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 3:12 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • If it is your home yes you can evict her but you have to do it legally. Give her a 30 day notice (or call the police and see if there is a shorter period of time) and if she's not out then have the police remove her. File the eviction notice with the police. Mail her the notice by certifed mail.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:02 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Kick her out. If she refuses to leave, call the police. She cannot live in your house and abuse you. If you have to, start calling the police every time she does something that is physical. Begin that paper trail of complaint. Go to the court and request a restraining order. She is your daughter and I understand the hurt. I have 3 sons. Two of them are grown (over 21). I would hate to have to do something like this, but I would in a heart beat. I will never let one of my children treat me as if I were insignificant and with disrespect. At that point, he would have to go.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 8:49 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • You should probably consult an attorney since each state has different laws. I would give her notice and tell you she has whatever number of days notice that is legal in your state. In the meantime is she is abusive to you, call the police and have her removed immediately. Find a locksmith and change the locks after the police take her away. Tough love is probably the only solution other than counseling.
    poohbear04433

    Answer by poohbear04433 at 11:46 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN