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Is it wanting to much ??

I am 4 weeks away from having my 2nd child. We have no other family or friends we trust to watch our 2.5 year old when I go into labor but my parents who we KNOW she'll be fine with. We thought we had a plan with my parents for when I go into labor. I guess it's to much to ask now since my little sister who's birthday is today she is 16 wants to go to Chicago we live in Indiana ( about a 3-4 hour drive away from Chicago) and they can't take her for a few weeks . My mom stated early Oct. ( I am due Oct. 15th) I then said Oh so around the time I am due to have Cassie , mom just answered yes . I was SHOCKED and upset that they could just make plans to go out of town for the weekend so close to when I will be having my baby when they already AGREED to watch thier granddaughter so that hubby can be in the room with me and we wouldn't have to worry about watching our daughter who I think shouldn't be in the room since she is only 2

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baby1love

Asked by baby1love at 2:38 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,042 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I know the world DOES NOT revolve around me . It just is that we already planned it out that THEY would watch our daughter for us. We don't have ANY other close relatives we trust to watch daughter or else we would find someone else. It would be sooooooo much easier to have someone watch our daughter since hubby can't help me push and watch daughter at the same time ! She is 2.5 and will try to get in the way of everything .
    baby1love

    Answer by baby1love at 2:41 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • They will more than likely be there for you and the grandbabies anyway, they are just trying to accomidate to both of you (sisters) right now. But you know when it's time to have that baby they will be right there for you.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 2:43 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • It is not wanting too much!! They already agreed. I would be very upset as well!
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:44 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • You have NO neighbors NO best friend you could leave her with? I'd get a call on that includes your mom and sister and dad and remind them hey, hello there remember me??

    Don't feel guilty about it, just ask so that you can get your plans in order. Remind your family that Chicago will be there in November as well as October. Also how about asking little sis to help watch her niece when labor comes - she just might be excited to get a day or two off from school to be in on your excitement.

    Stay calm, if your parents and sis won't be with you - there has got to be someone, a neighbor you know to be an excellent mom but you've just not bonded with her yet?? Well this might be the time. What about someone who works in a church nursery you might have dd in?

    remember calm breathe repeat
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 2:45 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • lfl -
    We just moved into the neighborhood so we don't know anyone that well enough to leave her with neighbors we barely know. Best friend lives in Texas all other friends live out of town as well . We don't really have many friends here where we live. and those that do live in town I honestly wouldn't leave my child with them.
    My sister HATES her neice ! She leaves whenever we go over to the house to visit and swears she will never have kids because of my daughter. Seriously I would NEVER leave my sister with my daughter EVER !
    baby1love

    Answer by baby1love at 2:49 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • ask them what their plans are exactly, maybe they could go with the plan that when/if you go into labor while they are gone they will come straight home (or just one of them come home and the other stay with your sister so she can finish her trip out) and you'd just need someone to watch your older child for a few hours until they get there to get her. maybe if you guys offer (if you can afford it) to cover the cost of a rental car for one of them to come home (this way the other one has a car while there and to get home when its time to) or to help cover the cost. yes its not fair, i'd be mad too, but they have 2 daughters they are trying to make sure are happy, try to imagine what you'd do if it was your kids years from now. if you're older dd were having a baby and you're younger child asked for something at the same time, who would you say no to? it'd be a hard decision to make, so sit down and calmly try to figure it out.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:50 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I was in a similar situation with my mom in my 3rd pregnancy, with the added wrinkle that my DH was unable to be there until about 3 weeks after I was due. My mom had agreed from early on in pregnancy that she would come when I was in labor to help me with the kids and bring me to the hospital when it was time. Then with just a couple weeks notice, she told me she was flying out to CO to visit my brother for a week just two weeks before I was due because "that's when the tickets were cheapest." 2 weeks before is well within the normal range to deliver a baby in! I was both furious and totally freaked out. I didn't really have a support network close by me. More casual aquaintences than friends, no one I really trusted to watch my kids or felt comfortable calling to bring me to the hospital at 3 am if need be.

    (cont'd)
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:56 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I spoke with her about my concerns and that my baby could easily come that early, but she basically just blew me off. I made a list of people who I would call if I absolutely had to. My daycare provider offered to watch the kids for me overnight or on weekend if need be, but it was on a paid basis. And I figured an ambulance would get me to the hospital if it came to that. But I wasn't really happy with these options.

    In the end my mom did go to CO and she did make it back in time since I went past my EDD anyways. But I felt really hurt and let down and like I can't count on her.

    Talk to your mom about how much you are really depending on her to be there to watch your daughter and that this is really within the time frame you could expect to deliver. See if they can't move the trip forward or back. Talk directly to sis and enlist her help in changing the plans for the trip.

    Good luck, mama.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:00 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • OH man how can you sister Hate your daughter at 2-1/2 years old? that's ridiculous? is that the 16 year old sister? so do you think she's doing this trip on purpose to spite you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

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