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Have you and your husband discussed if one were to die if you would remarry or not?

My husband and I make comments about it. He says he wouldn't because a man can teach a child everything they need to know but I should because a woman can't teach a child everything they need to know (JOKINGLY, NOT BEING SERIOUS)

But I couldn't imagine if my husband (God forbid) died tomorrow, I couldn't imagine never getting married again- yet I couldn't imagine loving someone besides him.

What did you and your husband agree on?

Answer Question

Asked by amy31308 at 3:05 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (92 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • My husband and I agreed that we wouldn't remarry. We have 3 children and we decided that if the other person dies, we will devote all of our time to making sure our children adjust well to their loss instead of trying to replace the other person.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 3:08 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • We agree it's up to the surviving spouse to go on with their life in a way that makes them happy. I hope he would be able to find a companion if I were gone. I'd hate to think of him growing old alone. I know if I lost him, it would be very hard to find a love like we have together again, and hard to settle for anything less having had what we have together. I was a single mom for several years before I met him and I was perfectly happy as a single adult so I don't think I'd feel like I needed someone else for companionship or to make my life complete. I kind of feel like if I can't have him, I wouldn't want anyone. But I also wouldn't entirely rule out finding love again. I just hope it's not a situation either of us are faced with for a good many years.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:10 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I would remarry, and I would expect my dh to as well. My father died when I was 7, my mom remarried a wonderful man when I was 9. I can't imagine all of the things that I would have missed out on had my stepdad not been in my life. Certainly I would have had a much harder time, especially when it came to dating and understanding guys - I looked to my stepdad for a man's opinion. And he was also extremely helpful in preparing me for college. He's very smart and helped me in subjects that my mother could not have.
    In short - I think children benefit from having a mother, and a father, and I can't see depriving my children of that if I found a man that I thought would be an excellent father figure and we loved each other.

    Answer by missanc at 3:13 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • My husband told me he would have to marry pretty quickly if something happened to me because he does not think he could handle the kids without me. There really wasn't any discussion since he had already made up his mind. I'm ok with it because I know he would choose based on what he thought was best for our children.

    I don't believe I would remarry, at least not until later in life. I'm an older mom with a decent career, so I think I could manage financially on my own, and i already do the bulk of caring for the children. I might want a partner later in life, but I might not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I dont think anyone can really tell for sure how we'd be if we were widowed young, or our spouses.
    My husband is less secure than me and he'd want a woman in his life, as long it's not the three of us and would only be the two of them, he and whomever, I don't have a problem with that.

    I'm content with who I am and additionally having a partner now but I don't need one to raise my kids. I know myself and I wouldn't seek out a partner - if it should happen if it were right then ok.

    I say do what it takes to be fulfilled in life now with our partners and God forbid should any of our partners pass.

    A friend was alone and pursued men with very bad results. I would not want that for me, my kids. So I'm more set in my ways.

    Answer by lfl at 3:14 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Yes we have talked about it.

    We each want the other to find someone else. Yet, neither of us can imagine finding love, like we have, again.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 3:15 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Yes, one time and my husband just shrugged his shoulders. I honestly don't care either way but I think my husband is much to lazy to start a new relationship - nothing serious anyway. "what I gott do this crap all over again??? DAMN!"

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 3:20 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • ha remarry and risk getting another one of him i think not lol hey chick what up?

    Answer by jodi205 at 3:34 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • My husband and I have somewhat discussed it. He says he would never remarry as "once was enough"-- although I prefer to think he meant he would miss me soooooo much no other woman could possibly compare and he would pine for me till his dying day.... So then I told hubs that I 'would not be a widow for long' ---- Although if I ever do become a widow I really don't know if I would remarry or not. I certainly would not rush out to start dating again....


    Answer by MizLee at 3:46 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Yes, we have had the talk and my husband says he will not remarry. But he told me i should. But i don't think i would. I could never find a man who treats me the way he does. Who would be my best friend, soul mate and respect me. It would be impossible. I would just keep our dreams alive and do everything we had planned to do with our lives by myself and with our children. But i would want HIM to remarry and be happy.

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 3:53 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

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