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I feel like I am going collapse!

Ok so I had my son 2 1/2 weeks ago and my DH was home for a week and went back to work. I also have an almost 3 yr old DD and 10 yr old DS. I am a SAHM after my DD was born. I wanted to go back to work to help out but we decided that it was too expensive(child care) and also I wanted to be there for my DD. Well my DH did something to his back last week(doc thinks a slipped disk but not sure) so they gave him pain pills and muscle relaxers. This was last Friday. He hasn't really worked since but has taken the pain pills(NO he's not a pill junkie) and muscle relaxers to ease the pain. Now I never had a slipped disk and I'm not downgrading it, but why is it that women can give birth and still do everything the day they get home? I was so sore, have stitches in my vag, back kills and headaches from the stupid epidural and I am still doing everything including doing all the feedings through the day and night for ...cont

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jasey929

Asked by jasey929 at 6:00 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • our DS and taking care of my other two(supper,homework,baths, supper for DH etc..). I am sooo tired from not sleeping that I am dizzy, can't eat, headaches, look like shit lol. I am literally ready to collapse and what is he doing right now??? SLEEPING! I know he works hard and has pain right now but I just can't do it all and be healthy. I sucked it up when I came home from the hospital in pain(no meds for me because I needed to be alert for my kids) why can't men? I know some people will bash me about this because it's my "duty" as a SAHM and usually I do it all and don't care but I can't even function anymore. What to do??
    jasey929

    Answer by jasey929 at 6:05 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • When I hurt my back, it was definitely difficult to get around. What I did so that I could still do stuff around the house was I would only take the pain medicine during the day since it didn't make me as drowsy. Honestly, I do agree it is VERY hard to take care of a household after giving birth. However, muscle relaxers knock you on your butt. Within 30 minutes, I personally cannot keep my eyes open for very long, and if I am still upright I am functioning as if I have consumed an entire bottle of liquor on my own. That is why he is asleep. Ask him if it is possible for him to take a short break from the muscle relaxers if he can handle it, so that he can stay awake long enough to do some light things for you, such as folding laundry, which may be something he can do while reclined.
    kikikiki

    Answer by kikikiki at 6:11 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • This is when you call out for help from family or friends. Someone to bring a casserole, someone to pick up your son and take him to practice, etc.

    Also, is your three year old in daycare? If you even have her go a few times a week, that will give you some relief.

    Duty-Schmuty...Stay at Home doesn't equal Slave at Home.

    Everyone deserves to recharge. Get your hubby out of bed and have him make dinner/baths/bedtime ritual. You go take a hot shower and climb into bed and read a juicy book or just crash.
    07upsydaisy

    Answer by 07upsydaisy at 6:13 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Ok, calm down. You have a right to vent. Accidents happen and he got hurt. He can't help you right now but he will when he can. You can do this. Do you have family or friends who can come lend a hand? If not, then let's see about getting him fixed up. A hurt back sucks. You had an epidural which numbed your body to what it went through. His back has been injured and it carries his entire body so there is a difference. However, I am not bashing, just trying to get you to see what the difference is. I had to go through Physical Therapy for a hurt back and that's the key, not his pain meds. yes it is good to have them but he can remove some of his own pain if he does stretches and take MOTRIN to get rid of the inflammation. He can alternate ice packs and heat to help as well. Google back stretches and see what they provide for him. I don't know which part of the back is hurt. Mine was lower back. PM me if you need to
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:17 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I agree with the others...a hurt back is rough... i remember i had to drive my dad to a chiropractor when i was 14 bc he had a slipped disk...call on a friend, family member, or even a neighbor to help out...oh also try sending him to a chiropractor they seem to find out exactly what's wrong a lot quicker than regular doctors do...my ex-mother-in-law had went to a doctor several times and he couldn't pinpoint exactly what was wrong she went to a chiropractor and he not only told her what was wrong but also advised her to a specialist...just hang in there honey you'll make it through i promise...
    ramita

    Answer by ramita at 6:24 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • He does take 800 motrin too but he says it doesn't help. It's not even everything else to do around here I really don't mind doing it but it's all the feedings throughout the night that I am so exhausted. I totally get the back thing and like I said I know it sucks but can't he at least take some feedings? He doesn't have to move to do them. He just takes the pain pills every 2 to 4 hours(supposed to be every 6) and says they don't help(so why take them?) and the muscle relaxers(also says they don't help huh??) I do have family around but I just hate to impose ya know? I just want him to take some feedings so I can at least catch up. I don't get more than 2 hours a night and after 6 days I fell like I want to cry. I don't want him to do anything else(laundry, dinner, etc..) because I just want him to get better. I am trying to tell him to go to a chiropractor or massage therapy but he says he'll just deal with it. Cont..
    jasey929

    Answer by jasey929 at 6:51 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • but it's not just him dealing with it, it's us too! Thanks everyone for your honest answers! Oh and my DD goes to preschool 2 times a week for a few hours so hopefully tomorrow I can take a few hours nap!
    jasey929

    Answer by jasey929 at 6:53 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • The 800 mg Motrin does not exactly help the pain per se...it is more for the inflammation. So immediately it may not help the pain in his back, but over the course of recovery it is supposed to help. If you have just had a baby, I would hardly call asking family for help an imposition. My MIL did too much after giving birth to my husband and ended up having to go back to the hospital. You need time to heal too! If your husband cannot do anything for you, ask for help!!! Good luck.
    kikikiki

    Answer by kikikiki at 8:36 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Ok first off you need to get him off the pain pills/muscle relaxers....they are addictive as hell, he needs to see a doctor.....or a chiropractor...or both.
    get some help in the house for yourself...family, friends and take it easy your self....take care of your new baby.
    men are stubborn when it comes to their health, if you have to make the appointment for him and go with him.....good luck hon
    michaux

    Answer by michaux at 12:32 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

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