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Have you ever felt judged by a friend on your parenting choices

am i the only one who feels judged by friends for what i feed my kids, what activites i involve them in (too much or too little depending on who is judging), their behavior, their bedtime. you name it? am i the only one? make me feel better -- what, if anything, have you been judged on and how did you handle it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I have felt that way occasionally even though I dont think they meant to do it.

    Mostly the fact that I dont research up the wazoo to make my parenting choices, the whole I didnt breastfeed til they were 12, ERF,etc.

    I dont let it get to me because I always figure they are still my friend, they havent dropped me so it must not be that big a deal to them. It gets annoying but I can let it go. I know my kids are fine and being raised well and are happy and healthy and thats all that matters.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 6:15 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Oh sweetie, you arent the only one...... I wont even go into specifics, but I so understand how you feel. The one thing you need to always remember is that YOU are the one raising your children, not those other people. Everyone is going to have an opinion on what they think you might be doing right or wrong. You cant let what other people think make you feel bad :)
    SuperMomof3kids

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 6:15 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Not so much by friends --- they're all very accepting and of the "your kids, your business" attitude --- but FAMILY... O-M-G!!

    What have I been judged for? Where do I begin??

    We homeschool. We stopped vaccinating. We don't circumcise. I both formula & breastfed. I don't run my kids to the dr over every sniffle. I don't have my kids on a schedule. I don't force potty training. I trusted my dr when she said I needed a Csection. We're not Christian.

    Do you need more? I have more if you want them......
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 6:37 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Oh, I forgot --- How do I handle it?

    I tell them to mind their own business.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 6:38 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Nope, never. I make most of my BIG choices based on a lot of research first to back up what I choose... if they wonder why, then I tell them. I think I have made the right choices for my son and could care less if they didn't agree.

    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 6:44 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I feel like I do sometimes...for homeschooling, not vaxing, their bedtime. But it was so nice the other day...my friend said to me "I never knew how much work went into homeschooling and I have a whole different outlook on it now!" That made me feel good!
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 7:21 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Actually, it's the other way around, I 'm the one that everyone calls for advice, most of the time they will call me before they call the doctor,I tell them, I am a doctor ,teacher,lawyer, referee,all in one, I just don't get paid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • EVeryone judges. Some just do it more openly and with disdain. In my former life I worked as a therapist specifically with children and families. You want to talk about friends who want to judge to see how I parent....I think they just wait for a moment. I have a couple. I do all organic, don't do television, read tons, don't spank, and sometimes (gasp) I let my toddler sleep in our bed. I'm a horrible Mommy. I get it coming and going from my conservative friends who want to see me seek "retribution" when he makes a mistake and then from my hippie friends who frown long faces because I vaccinate. All I can say is I'm me and he's my responsibility. Funny thing, I really don't worry about their kids. Because they aren't mine. I want to see them well of course but I am really too busy being a parent to mine to parent any other mother or father.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:30 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • the kind of friends I have respect my choices.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Hmmm. Real friends don't judge. Mothers-in-law judge
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:07 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

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