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Military wives. How can I get through this?

My husband is in the Army National Guard, he just left for Basic and AIT and will be gone for around 16 weeks. We have a 15 month old daughter and another little girl due on Christmas. He just left yesterday and I already feel extremely lonely, I can't seem to get a grip. And this is just the National Guard, I dont know what I am going to do if he decides he like the military life and wants to do it full time. I don't see how military families do it. My husband is my best friend and I have never gone this long without talking to him,I want him home so badly. Does this get any easier, because right now I really don't think I can do this. Any advice or past experiances would be greatly appreciated.


Asked by nkkk07 at 8:00 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 10 (423 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I hear ya girl. I'm in your shoes. My hubby is in AIT right now. I moved down to where he was and am renting a room with a really cool girl so I can see him on the weekend. However we are borrowing money to do this. My advice is look on the bright side. You get the whole bed to yourself, you don't have to clean up after him. You don't have as much laundry or dishes to do. You don't have to worry about impressing him. This is actually a really good time for you to get in touch with yourself. Learn to entertain yourself and make yourself happy. Take up hobbies. Go onto and make a playlist, blast it really loud and dance around your house. Oh and write lots and lots and lots of letters all the time. He will absolutely love that and it will make you feel good talking to him. And 16 weeks is nothing, that will go by faster for you than it will for him. Good luck..and stay joyful always.

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 12:20 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • You will get used to it... It really bothers me alot too but when he's gone (and he goes to schools alot) we talk on the phone every day and see each other on the webcam. It's hard, you just have to get used to do things by yourself.
    My hubby will be leaving again in October for 6 weeks and next year he will be gone again from May til August. Just take one day at a time...
    Sorry, I don't really have a solution how to make it easier...

    Answer by crazypink at 8:05 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Well you can either deal with it or you can't. There are a lot of marriages that do not last in the military life. You have to learn how to do EVERYTHING on your own a lot of the times. Being away from your DH is hard. But you just learn how to deal with it. Is your marriage worth waiting for him to come home to you? If the answer is yes. Then you just "suck it up" and deal with him being away. My DH is RETIRE Army, did his 20. But there was a lot of times he was gone. My marriage was worth waiting for. Some women just can't deal with it.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:10 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • I agree with louise2
    You will/can deal with it or you wont/cant. The divorce rate in the military is like 85% or some crazy number such as that. It's a hard life style to live. I've been with my DH for just over 2 years and the whole time we've been together he's been in the military and he's been gone. He spent a year in Korea and is now currently deployed in Iraq. I think the longest i've gone without talking to him is probably about 2 weeks or so.
    Just keep your head up. He'll be back soon. ...and you've got it easy in the National Guard. He'll be back before you know it.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:36 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • My husband has been in the Navy for 6 years and we have been married over 5 of those years. Its a hard life at times, and some people aren't cut out for it. But don't give up on the second day. Its a huge adjustment, and it takes time. Just keep yourself busy and keep in mind that every day that passes is one more closer to him coming home. Stay busy, get involved in different things. The busier you are the faster this time will go. I know 15 weeks seems like forever right now, but in the grand scheme of things its really not that bad.


    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 8:51 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • only you can decide if you are willing to handle the miltary life.......I am a military spouse to a master sergeant in the air force reserves, we were active duty for a while and we loved it.....its a lifestyle choice......You need to contact your hubbys unit and find resourses for the spouses....there usually is a support group for the spouses,know how to get in touch during an emregency(red cross#) and enjoy your benefits, shop the commisary,bx,tour a miltary museum if you have one nearby......find a way to cope .....

    Answer by michaux at 12:17 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • well my future brother in law is in the air force and he jsut recently came home form afganistan and when he left back in april it was hard for my future sister in law. they had a 10 month old and she had just found out she was pregnant agian so it was extremely hard on them. well he left and we tried to keep her busy and she had family from new orleans come up and then she went and visited famliy and my future mother in law came down and stayed. but she said that it got easier for her while he was gone but at first it was really really hard for her.

    i think it will get easier for you at first its going to be hard

    Answer by alw06tchs at 12:03 PM on Sep. 17, 2009