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Is this normal?

I have a question about my 13 year old brother. He seems very slow. He was always the baby of the family, and since his dad and my mom broke up years ago it only got worse because his dad wanted him to like him more.
Anyway. He cannot do anything for himself, basic things like make kraft dinner or a cup of tea. Even if you walk him through it step by step he still messes it up. I KNOW I could do these things at his age, and well before 13. When I was 10 I used to babysit him and make both of us lunch (grilled cheese/chicken fingers etc).
Today my mom asked him to put the laundry from the washer into the dryer along with a bounce sheet. He went to the laundry room then came back. An hour later my mom went to check on it and he had put the bounce sheet in the dryer, but not the clothes! Then my mom told him what he did wrong and he seemed shocked. So he tried again, but instead he put the dirty clothes from the hamper

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Asked by BambiF at 9:38 PM on Sep. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (738 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • cont'd:
    into the dryer! This is the second time this has happened.
    I mean I can understand if he put it on the wrong setting or something, but to just not understand the basic concept of putting clothes in a dryer seems very odd to me.
    Another example; I ask him to get the orange juice out and he gets out the cranberry; He has terrible grammar and constantly says things like 'Cats are a lot more better than dogs' 'What did he sayed?'

    I don't live with them anymore, but my mom tells me that he is like this every day.
    What could be the problem? Do you think he could have some sort of learning disability?

    Answer by BambiF at 9:39 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • why don't they take him to the doctor? that's not normal at all. i was doing laundry and mowing the yard (riding mower) when i was 8.

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 10:37 PM on Sep. 16, 2009

  • Boys are a bit slower than girls (I have 4 kids). They tend to not pay much attention to what is being told to them, there for only processing SOME of what is being said. However, it seems that your brother does this a little more than what would be considered 'normal'. Are there any other signs of something being wrong? Boys/Men have more of a one track mind than girls/women. Is he doing something else when he is given instructions? Make sure you have his TOTAL attention before giving instructions next time, see if that helps or is he is still confused. Maybe even have him repeat back to you what was said. Another thing that boys are good at doing is messing up what has been asked of them so they won't be asked again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • In the midst of everyone else in the family dealing with their own problems this kid has been forgotten and left in front of the video games. He's not talking and he's in public school? Like a note from the school post-assesments haven't been sent home? PLEASE. This kid has been neglected and treated like a plant while everyone else has gone about their merry way. Someone needs to step and get an intervention or assesment at school, start spending some time with him with learning to talk and live in this world, I can only imagine how well he bathes himself. Get his parent to start teaching him how to be a normal functioning 13 year old boy and stop making excuses like he is slow or there was divorce, he needs guidance.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I agree that this child needs help. I have a 13 year old son and he is nothing like the one you described. Please make sure that he gets the help he needs and deserves.

    Answer by keeners4 at 12:50 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Thanks alot. My mom has been really shocked by how slowly he is developing. I have an older brother as well and she is always saying how he was so much different.
    I guess I already knew he was obviously in need of help...just wanted someone else to agree.

    Answer by BambiF at 12:59 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • could he be disle wait i don't know how to spell it but where you read things backwards. although that doesn't explain not doing things right when told or shown. get him to a neourologist.

    Answer by melody77 at 8:02 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • He may want to stay like a baby when he felt cared for and coddled... Or may have a passive aggressive anger because of the divorce. My kids, 16 and 18 acted helpless most of their lives; get him an assessment but give him time... he is still a kid, not an adult and maybe he is resisting growing up. My son would do nothing for himself, not even turn on the shower up to a few years ago. I had to start the water till he was in 10th grade. Kids get to the point where they want to do everything for themselves and want to be independant. Give the boy time... but would also take him to therapy and not be judgemental of him. Be kind and loving.

    Answer by graciepat at 9:32 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • well before you take him to the doctors. test him your self without him knowing. and see what he truly understands . only because maybe before he acted like that on purpose because he was the baby .in the family. and wanted attention. and now the problem is worse beczause he misses his daddy. not being around and not spending time with him. But if he's not acting up; and really is doing this. then yes go get him some help.and have him tested to see what his promblem is.

    Answer by incarnita at 10:15 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

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