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is it ever okay to give a friend unsolicited parenting advice?

a friend is really struggling with her active boy. As a parent of an active boy who just went through the same struggles, i desparately want to tell her what she could do to make her life easier. But i feel like that's crossing the line and could so easily be offensive. Any advice? should i just keep my mouth shut unless asked or is their a tactful way to offer this kind of feedback?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on Sep. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Maybe if she's complaining to you one day, say something like "well, I tried such and such tactic and it worked. Maybe you should try that and see if it works for you."

    That way it doesnt sound like you're telling her what to do, but just giving her a suggestion. And if it works, she'll probably come back to you for advice.

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 7:49 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I agree. Good advice

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 8:02 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • only if she asks you for your opinion. or else you two are very close like sisters and have alot of confidence to say what ever you feel to each other.

    Answer by incarnita at 8:03 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I agree with the others mom I wouldn't say anything until she ask or if it comes out in the conversation .

    Answer by Vero529 at 8:13 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I think you should wait and not say anything unless she asks for help, or the topic of conversation is about active boys... then you may want to say something like "geesh, my son was such a handful, and then I did this.... and it really worked for us". That way you are giving advice without sounding like you are telling her what to do.

    Answer by MizLee at 8:24 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Only do it if she asks. It pisses me off to no end when someone would come out of no where and give me advice. I have a friend who is a substitute teacher, who thinks that makes her an expert in parenting...she ugh is always offering her two cents even when it's not needed at all. So, just let her come to you, so you don't end up pissing her off.

    Answer by OneToughMami at 8:53 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I think if you are friends you can find a way to bring it up. Maybe when you are having a bad day you can complain to her and say something like, "The last time something like this happened I tried such and such and it worked, but now I don't know what to do." Maybe she has tried a bunch of stuff she can suggest for you that hasn't worked for her. It should get a conversation going. Compare notes rather than give her advice.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 8:55 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Agreed with the other moms, only if she asks or it comes naturally up in conversation. And word it so you are just telling her about your experience with x,y or z, not telling her what to do.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:35 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • when she complains about a specific thing, tell her how you have delt with that same thing with your son.... let her initiate....

    Answer by AmaliaD at 11:04 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • You could also say something like, "you are my friend and I see you struggling with your son. I want to help if I can. if you want to completely ignore me that's fine! when my son was really active we did this and it really helped. It might help you too!

    Answer by frat_twin_mama at 11:48 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

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