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am i a bad mother??

my son is 10 months old. he used to sleep through the night, but hasn't in about a month and a half. I'm pretty sure its teething. He now wakes 2-3 times at night, sometimes a paci will take care of it, other times, like last night, he cries forever. I normally don't pick him up out of the crib because I don't want him to only fall asleep that way. Last night he cried for almost 2 hours, and I felt myself losing patience by 2am. I went in told him I wasn't going to come back in and he had to go back to sleep, this was after he got his teething tablets. I shut his door and mine and layed down. I think I fell asleep before he did, but I know he cried himself to sleep. Should I be letting him CIO even though I know that his gums hurt? I'm just exhausted and this morning I now feel like a failure for not being a good mom and just holding him. What should I do? I know we are going to go through this again tonight. Please help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Sep. 17, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (17)
  • try motrin, it lasts for 6-8 hours

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:38 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • my 5 weeek old baby isn't sleeping well, he has been fussy and was awake from 1:30 am to about 6am this morning, i held him, rocked him, patted him...he has a sinus infection & as you know you can't give anything to a baby that small, if you don't go to work & are a sahm, you should comfort your child, no matter how tired it makes you, it's not like you have to go to work or anything the next day you can nap with the baby (luck you) i can't nap with him b/c i have a 3 y/o who dosen't nap anymore but i still stay up taking care of my baby

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I, too, recommend motrin and send him to sleep with a teething ring. Sometimes, moms do selfish things. That happens. Doing one selfish thing once, doesn't make you a bad mother. Always choosing yourself over your child and not caring about it, does. You know you probably made a mistake, and you feel bad for it. Bad mothers, don't grieve their mistakes. Maybe you can sit next to his bed that way he can see you, but he isn't being held by you? Would that help? Take a pillow and a blanket and lay where he can see you still. Just the idea of Mommy being there was enough for my son. My daughter is a whole nother story, but that worked with my son.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:43 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Motrin yes, CIO for 2 hours NO!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I don't think you did anything wrong. Sometimes they just need to cry it out. However, 2 hours is a long time to let them cry. Did you try a binky or a bottle? But just because you're holding them or around them doesn't mean the crying will stop and you'll just lose your sanity. You need rest and relaxation too. It's not selfish for her to do something for herself. Infact it's recommended by experts she does so or she'll go nuts!!

    And for the woman who said "if you're a SAHM you don't have to work and can nap"....are you a SAHM? When the baby is napping that's when we do all the other things that need done! Being a SAHM is more work than ANY job.

    Answer by irishangel710 at 11:59 AM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • honestly, I have done this with my son and was actually recommended to do so by my Ped for him. Before bed I would give him tylenol/motrin and oragel and teething tablets - the more I went to him in the middle of night, it made him wake up more often. He also had self soothing issues due to his colic but either way, I would let him CIO. There's only so much you can do for him when they are teething, it hurts but tending to them each time to me isn't fair either when it makes them wake more either. after I stopped going to my son, the crying lessened a ton!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I know with my kids I usually let them CIO for about 1/2 an hour then I will go check on them and calm them down. Change the diapers see if they are hungary. Deffinately give meds if needed.
    It will not hurt either of you for you to cuddle him for one or two nights till he is feeling better.
    I just had my 6th and this seemed to work for most of them I have one who still will not go to sleep by her self and she is 4 but one out of 6 is not bad.

    Answer by rachealk5 at 12:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • By the way - you are NOT selfish for letting him CIO. I just read that from the PP... Some people are blessed with "easy children" period!!! my son was NOT easy not ever! I am far from ignoring his needs or being selfish - I would sit outside his door and still do sometimes and cry from guilt but I tried EVERY other method out there before CIO! He once ended up staying up for 3 days ad we were both a mess. He did not and does not seek comfort from me tending to him - do whats right for YOUR child and don't worry 0 no matter what you do some stupid ignorent mothers are going to judge you and tell you that you are wrong or selfish.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:26 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Any time you post about CIO, you're going to get a lot of crap. I'm not going to tell you you're a bad mother. CIO is not abuse so don't let anyone else b.s. you. And forget all about the posters who want to dump all over you for being a SAHM. Who knows what their problem is and honestly, who cares anymore. I've certainly past the point of caring. Let them spew their negativity and ignore them.

    As for teething, our pediatrician recommended Tylenol. The dose of course depends on your baby's weight so call the doctor and ask what he can have.

    Hang in there. It will get better.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:44 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • As much as you hate the lack of sleep or the frustration right now, soon it will be over your child will grow older and you will miss those sleepless nights, so make the best of them, I used to get so mad at my husband for not waking up and helping out with our 3 kids, but now that I think of it he was the one missing out. He'll never have that. Good luck!

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 1:24 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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