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How do you gently let down a friend who is always

around? My BFF whom I've know for 10+ yrs is constantly involved in our family outings/trips/vacations. Little background: She's from Cape Cod and moved here in MD years ago so all of her family is still in the Cape and to make matters worse they don't speak or atleast not very often. We are her sudo family - she's like a sister to me and hubby and our kids call her aunt Laina and even my mum and sisters consider her one of the family. When we do go on trips whether it's weekend ski trips, beach trips, Disney vacations or trips locally she's with us. Dinners every Sunday she there for and even trips to the mall. Don't get me wrong we love her to bits but we would like to do somethings as a family without her. We are planning our annual Disney vaca for next April and I told her up front that if she wanted to join us for a few days it would be alright and she agreed. See next year we'll spend 2 full weeks in Disney...

 
Ladybugkisses76

Asked by Ladybugkisses76 at 11:58 AM on Sep. 17, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 25 (21,981 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Don't pull out of the trip. Just be honest with her. Even if she gets upset, you can't back out of everything your family looks forward to, simply to keep the peace between you and your friend. Their happiness should come before hers. Just tell her that you and hubby want some time alone with the family...and stick to your original plan of her only being there a few days. She may get upset, but if she's a true friend, she'll respect your feelings and get over it...especially if she's that involved with everything else you do. Good Luck.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Cont:
    as opposed to 1 1/2 like in past trips so my husband said a few days would be alright. She told us that she was planning a trip of her own to Spain next Oct/Nov so a few days would be all she could really afford anyway. Fast forward to this past Sunday when she informed me that her trip to Spain was cancelled and she thought she would just do an entire week with us in Disney. I was shocked and since I had other family and friends there at the time I really couldn't say much to her at the time. I haven't even told my hubby yet. I'm thinking of pulling out of the Disney trip all together in hopes that whatever other destination we pick it won't be to her liking and she'll bow out. I don't really want to give up our Disney trip (we go every year and the kids look forward to it - okay so do I ;-) but what choice do I have?

    Please help.
    Ladybugkisses76

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 12:03 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I think that this is a way to tell her without specifically asking her to not come or stay any longer:

    I would just try to talk to her the next time it comes up, tell her that with so much family around you and hubby don't get much ALONE time with the kids, and they are growing up so fast that you are really looking forward to spending a week alone with them, (she says she will be there one week, that leaves you a week with the kids) and how you really appreciate her understanding and only coming for the one week. Perhaps she will get the hint and lower her week to just a couple of days.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:07 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • You need to be honest with her and tell her how you feel. Say that you and your man need some special time.
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 12:32 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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