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idk if i am being selfish or not but...

i am wanting to take our relationship to the next level get married and have a family. he has a child already and his ex makes it hard on him and i have talke to him about it and he says that he wants to marry me "one day" but i am ready for that now i love him soo much and i want to spend the rest of my life with.

he says being married is jsut the paper it doesnt change how we feel about each other.

how do i convience him how important this is to me and how much i want would like for us to get married and have a family. we have been togehter for a longtime now.
i dont know what to do its all i think about is how much i love him and want us to get married and hae a family

what would yall do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Sep. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think if he really doesn't want to get married then you either accept that he doesn't and might never want to or move on and be with someone who wants marriage and everything you want.

    And you shouldn't have to convince him of anything, I'm sure he knows how important it is to you, but do you want him to marry you because he wants to or because you want him to?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • i posted the question,

    i want him to marry me bc he loves me and wants to . he tells me he wants to marry and have a family. so idk wha the big deal his.

    he told me the other day that as long as he has me and his child in his life then his life was complete until we have a family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Don't try to push him. If he doesn't want to, then he doesn't want to. Maybe it's partly because of his former relationship that failed. Or maybe it's because things change soooooo much when you get married it's not even funny. Too many times everything goes straight to hell. Let him think about it and decide what he really wants to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • i posted the question

    yea i am not trying to push him i am sorry if i made it sound like i was. i dont talk to him about it all the time the other day when he told me that stuff it was on his own he told me. and then the last time that he told me that he wanted to marry me and all that was when we were actually talkin about the future agian . i want him to do it when he is ready but i want him to know that i dont want to wait forever you know. i know sometimes he gets scared bc of his parents (the got divorced when he was lil) and then now this with is ex. i know it is hard for him and i am threr for him he knows it. i am just going ot let it go .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • If you want him to do it when he's ready then you wont push it. Trying to get him to see "how important this is to you" is pushing. If someone feels pressured into something like marriage, they won't be happy and will eventually resent their partner.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 1:54 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I agree with the first poster, you need to decide if you are willing to accept that he may never be ready, and what you really want for your wife. You deserve to have someone willing to give you a commitment, He may not be the right guy, and you could miss the guy really meant for you by staying. On the other hand, if that commitment isn't that important to you, then you need to let it go.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • It sounds like the two of your have different goals in life. I suggest that you continue your search for a life-mate, or work on building a good life with you and your child(ren)
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:44 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • He prob is scaird to get married again, but also he doesn't want you both to move fast.. he wants it to be special and he want's it to last... give him some time.. if he keeps saying wait every year than move on. this is taking up too much of your time!! I see where you are comming from!!! GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO THOES WHO WAIT!!!! You'll SEE..
    Linsigirl26

    Answer by Linsigirl26 at 4:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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