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Three year old threw tantrum and it turned violent what do I do???

the tantrums are manly screaming really loud, but today it was different it was the screaming and when i took her to the bedroom to try to calm her down, it got worse, she scratched my face, pulled my hair and head butted me, i tried to hold her down and calm her down, now today is the first time its gotten this bad, im use to the screaming but the violence towards me is something new...need advice on what to do?

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fletchermel

Asked by fletchermel at 1:58 PM on Sep. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • yeah right, i'm going to get bashed so i'm going anon but i'd bust her ass and make her think twice about headbutting me or anything else like that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Call Nanny 911
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • i have a four kids & one is two.Make sure she somewhere safe & then Please ignore her tantrums.
    don't give them any attention good or bad. i know it hurts to see your child cry/ scream, but by paying attention to her when she throws a tantrum is telling her " it ok honey I don't mind your tantrums"
    Try that for a few months IF that don't work go to time outs 1 min per year. So for your kid 3 min.
    Be consistent once the tantrum is over and she starts to have good behavior, let her know shes a good girl.
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 2:06 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • does your DD have any other issues? or is this just a bad temper?

    first i would leave her in her room for 10 minutes and then give myself a chance to calm down and collect myself (i can imagine you are feeling a bit of rage and a bit hurt) once you are both calm try talking to her explain that it is not okay to touch other people like that. talk about what lead up to it and give her other ways to express herself. She needs to understand it is not okay to ever hit mommy (or anyone else) when she is angry.

    I have a DD who will yell and scream she has my temper and i am teaching her how to control it, I have found that while a spanking sounds great in these situations they normally only encourage the child to hit again.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:07 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • op wear earplugs or a stereo, cd player headset, earmuffs any of that will quiet your nerves. For some kids the threes are the thunderous threes carried over from or instead of the terrible twos.

    Try working on tell little one to stay in her room, don't restrict her to no play focus on her learning to stay in a place separate from where she was originally misbehaving. Put a gate up across her doorway to keep her in.

    Take a ticking egg timer with a turn dial so she can hear how long she has to stay in her room - when it dings she can come out - BUT LEAVE IT outside the room so she can't somehow shorten the time. Some parents give a minute per age of child.

    Make a chart with stars or fun stickers showing every single good thing she does - no matter how little or tiny.

    I found that lessening the noise of my three kids tantrums made me better able to deal with them.
    I could still hear them but a bit muffled not LOUD!!!
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 2:18 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • i dont normally spank, we do time outs, but my son can get there with tantrums too. he knows if he hurts me on purpose i will spank his butt and i do it so he doesnt want that to ever happen again, i do not abuse, i dont bruise him, i just spank him like 12 times on the same spot until he cries a little... it is what works for him too... also - blow up punching bag ... let her get her agression out somewhere that is acceptable, knowing she is allowed to hit that she will have an outlet for her bad feelings.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:27 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I agree with Anon and I will take my bashing, spank her and let her know that is NOT acceptable. I have not spanked my children often in their lifetimes, but that kind of behavior will STILL get them a good old fashioned whooping!!!
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 5:02 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • These are some good answers. Ignoring her tantrums is key but when she gets violent you need to put your foot down and tell her we don't act out with that kind of behavior and it's unacceptable so she needs a time out. Then, STICK WITH IT even if you have to place her back in time out over and over. Eventually, she'll break. Sad but true.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:03 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • anon 1pm: y ou see to hide behind the anon button and advise everyone to tear up their kids ass or bust their ass. Is that your answer for everything?

    OP: When a child is violent, spanking them or getting physical with them is NOT the answer. THat just teaches them that violence is ok. You first need to ignore the tantrums, make sure the kid is safe but ignore the tantrums. Second, get your child evaluated to see if there is an underlying reason for the aggression. Read the book, "1-2-3 It's Magic"..it is a common sense, no spanking appproach to discipline that really works. Have patience. When your child hits you, FIRMLY tell them that it hurts and it isn't ok. Put him/her in their room until they can calm down. The child does not leave their room until they calm down. Make the child apologize to whomever they hurt. Be consistent.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:09 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • 3 is a tough age, they have vocabulary but not enough to always convey their frustration, so they get so upset that they strike out at mom. Each of my kids has had at least one tantrum like yours has. I am quick to put an end to that, I get right down at their level and in a very firm low voice I say to them "you will never ever hit mommy again, do you understand?" Then I take them by the hand and tell them that they are in time out for hitting (or whatever the offense is). I agree with the PP about the book 1-2-3 Magic, it's a very good book, common sense, easy to do and effective. When you establish a disciplinary routine like 1-2-3 Magic you will see less and less of these tantrums because their behaviour will have already been dealt with before it gets to tantrum level. I also use a ticking timer for their timeouts, it gives them a definite concept of time..."if it's ticking, I'm still in time out". GL
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 10:36 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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