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please help...Behavioral problems!!!

Hello everyone,
My son is 4 years old and I have been having some behavioral problems with him. I try to be assertive, calm, and consistent in his punishment for his behavior but nothing works. I try taking away privileges explain how it makes me feel when he treats me the way he does and it does not fad him a bit. His tantrums are out of control also. Every time I put him in time out he kicks and screams at the top of his lungs until time out is over but two seconds later he does the disruptive, rude, unacceptable behavior once again. I am about to pull my hair out, I do not know what else to do anymore. The weird thing is he only acts like this with me and no one else. If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.

Answer Question
 
saysha100687

Asked by saysha100687 at 3:31 PM on Sep. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 17 (4,017 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Have you had him evaluted? It sounds ( from what I've read ) a little more like ADHD where sometimes that split second thought process we all have of what NOT to do isn't really there and then they get upset or naughtier when discipline is tried?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • My son has issues too and I'm taking him to a councelor. We just started, so we'll see how it goes. Just wanted to say good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Well, I was thinking ADHD or somthing of that nature untill you said.....HE ONLY does this with you.

    You gotta use some reasoning....are you his ONLY disciplinarian? If NOT then I hate to say it....but the problem starts with you.....I mean why else would he only do it with you.

    Step back.....think hard....are you really being firm and unyielding?

    Maybe he sees a "give" in your strong front. Sort of where he thinks he can get ya.....ya know.

    Kids are smart, and will play you forever if they can.

    Thats just my opinion and I dont even know you ;) so.....you know your son better, if you think he really is dealing with an issue....then talk to the pediatrician and see if he can be tested.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I doubt that it is ADHD, kids that are ADHD are NOT aggressive unless there is anohter disorder along with the ADHD. Seeing you are taking him to a counselor, let them do their job and determine what, if anything, is wrong with him.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:02 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Well he acts out the most with me but he gets lippy with everyone else including dad, grandma, and his favorite person in the world Grandpa. Dad dosent like to discipline because he cant get through to him and acts out even worse...basically dad dosent have th patience to deal with him as I do, but I am at the end of my rope here.
    saysha100687

    Answer by saysha100687 at 5:45 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • a bit of advice, for my son who also had horrible tantrums, time out doesn't start till he is quiet, if that takes an hour, than it takes an hour, he WILL sit in that chair quietly looking at the wall for three min. If he stands up and his butt comes off the chair, the time starts again.
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 6:57 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • His behavior sound just like my step son (50/50 custody) He is out of control at times. He was diagnosed ADHD/ODD. No punishment seems to work. It only makes him more mad. or he will repeat the behavior immediatly after get out of time out. He will kick, spit, hit, throw things, when he gets in trouble. He is on medication and in therapy. The meds are helping some because he has a bit more control. It is almost like it gives him a sec or two more to think before he acts. His mother does not follow through on anything the drs say to do so the behavior modification is not really working. She rather avoid the confrontation and ignore his behavior than punish/discipline him. Get him into a CHILD psychologist and have him evaluated. As long as everyone is on the same page there are many things that can be done to help the situation. If he is diagnosed the dr can help you learn new ways to approach the situation.

    Carajust

    Answer by Carajust at 7:46 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I went through that with my son a while ago. He would misbehave, go in time out for 4 minutes, come out and be right back at it again. I found the best thing to do was to talk to him. He would hit his sister, be sent to time out on his bed, when time out was over, I would sit with him on his bed and we would talk. I would say "why were you sent to time out?" He would look at me and say "because I hit my sister." I would say "is that what we do in this house?" He says "no, hitting is not allowed, we are to love our sister and use our words when we have a problem." I would make him go to his sister, say he was sorry, and then (the kicker of all preschool egos) ask for forgiveness. It took about a month of consistently talking, but now the acting out is gone, words are being used, he does not his anymore, no screaming, kicking, I haven't even had a tantrum in months, and life is beautiful!!
    midnightshadow2

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 8:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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