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How do you think I should handle this?

I've been off my birth control for about 9 months now because I wasn't liking the side effects of it or how it made me feel. This is the third method I've tried and haven't liked any of the previous ones, either. My fiance's mother called me this morning and asked why I went off it(like it's any of her business). I explained it to her and she had the nerve to tell me, "Having another baby isn't the answer." WTF?! So I told my fiance and he called her and asked her to stay out of our business. She started flipping out on him and told him I needed to 'grow some shoulders' because he had said I was upset. When he asked her not to gossip about it to anyone, like she has a habit of doing, she said, "Do you think anyone gives a shit about her?" My fiance said, "Oh, that's nice." His mother then proceeded to try and correct herself, but the damage was done. I've been depressed all day. What should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Sep. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Not have anything to do with her for ahile, until she can apopligize and talk to you like a normal person.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 5:16 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I agree with PP
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 5:19 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I agree with MommaRox.
    Just don't talk to her for a while. Do you really need to anyway? If you have caller id, don't answer when it's her number. Or just start screening your calls in general.
    And, I honestly do suggest telling her what's on your mind as well, not having the fiance do it for you - I've done that before, and it creates a HUGE mess. Bigger than what it should have or could have been.
    Whenever you do start talking to her, and you feel like it's absolutely none of her business... well, tell her that. She's obviously a big enough girl to talk smack, she can deal with the truth too.
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 5:20 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I wouldn't have anything to do with her either until she could apologize and stay out of your personal business.
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 5:20 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I'd like to say it will actually get better but it won't. It will only get worse. You have to decide if it's worth it to put up with her crap for the rest of your life if you marry her son. I know that is not what you want to hear but it's the truth. Join in an MIL group and see what kind of psycho stuff they pull.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • If it isnt any of her business then how did she know you went off the pill? I think parents have the right to ask questions if they are helping, or if your decisions are afeecting them. Sounds like you guys have already had atleast 1 baby out of wedlock and they are trying to see if your are being responsible and preventing it from happening again. I dont think she was out of line until she said no one gives a Sh*t. but she may have just said that cause she was angry and defensive. My parents are good so if they said, "are you using protection" and didnt like my answer I would have to consider their thoughts...Not bashing just trying to see a different side. maybe you should be on the pill or be using something else reliable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I'm really not trying to be nosy but my advice will depend on knowing how she found out you went off BC?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I do think that it is absoutely none of her business whether you are on birth control or not. She has no right to ask that question and no control over your reproduction unless she is raising your child/ren and it doesn't sound like that is the case.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • Guess I would wonder who told her in the first place that you stopped your birth control. I can't imagine why anyone would do that. I assume that you or your husband did, but maybe next time something like this comes up you know NOT to tell her.

    As for what to do, I think you have to realize that her true colors have emerged and accept that she is who she is. I think you'll just have to keep your distance from her as much as possible, and tolerate her bad behavior. I'm sorry, she's way out of line. And yes, I agree with the first poster.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 5:26 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • The only way she could've found out is if the gyno called her to try and find out why I haven't been coming in. I recently moved and never called my doc back with my new address and number, but that's only been 3 months. If the gyno actually cared or wondered, they would've called me at my old address when I first went off the BC. I had her as an emergency contact, so I assume they called her and told her. Which, I guess I understand, but still. She had no right to meddle and tell me having another baby wasn't the answer. Maybe we'd like to have another one. It's really uncalled for when she tries to run my life and stuff. That's just my opinion, though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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