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Need advice. Should I talk to BIL or just ignore again?

So. Long story short, somehow, I got caught up in my BIL's bizarre love relationship.
It was all, "Kaidyn (me) gossips about Kim(BIL's gf) to Mom (MIL)" blah blah blah.
Which... I wasn't. I was telling my MIL - because we're relatively close, about what Kim would say to me. Like.. for instance, "Kim wants to go camping, but I was telling her that if I went, I'd be eaten alive."
I don't know HOW this entitles as "gossiping" but after a huge blowout, where the BIL called me a chink, and a liar, and I was only "christened" into the family because I sh!t out a baby... I butted out. Heh... I think, I wasn't in..but whatever!
I still talk to Kim, but we don't approach the topic of BIL at all. I haven't spoken to BIL ever since blow out.
But NOW, he's talking bad about me again. Kim has no feelings for BIL, BIL does. I'm not involved. I could care less. I just talk to a friend, period.
I don't appreciate the name calling.

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K_Sawyer

Asked by K_Sawyer at 9:16 PM on Sep. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • The reason why I'm even more upset is the fact that I wanted to have a semi-decent relationship with the BIL, because my DH loves his brother.. looks up to him. He would never admit it. They look down on each other. BIL looks down on DH because he's "young and immature" and DH looks down on him because he's... a failure in life. Lost his son and wife to drugs, went to jail for drugs, 30 years old still bumming rides from disabled parents, lives with them...
    I encourage them to still have some form of communication, even though what I'm experiencing with BIL, but at this point, I'm just like... "Really? Does he want his family around still?"
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 9:18 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I would have to say it is time to get together and see if all the backstabbing can be stopped. I know its hard to be the bigger person sometimes but you should at least give it a shot for the sake of family. If you try and it doesnt work the you at least have the piece of mind that you gave it a shot.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 9:36 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I personally would not pursue the time to have a conversation with your BIL. It was wrong how he went off on you like that. He's seems very immature if he couldn't approach you in "another way". Look at it this way, If your sibling/s came up to your DH & was nasty like that towards him, would you have him take care of the situation or would you take over that conversation & tell them that you do not appreciate them talking to your DH like that. In other words I think that this is a good time for your DH to step in. It's his side of the family & he should let DB know that he doesn't appreciate him talking to his wife in that behavior & IF he can't be respectful, to just stay away from the situation all together. There is no need for bad remarks that has been made or intended about you. Your DH should let his DB know that when he insults you, he is insulting him. You are his wife & he needs to give him that respect.

    onespecialmom

    Answer by onespecialmom at 9:51 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

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