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How Often Should My Husband Hang Out With His Friends?

My husband had been unemployed for a couple months. Ever since he's been working again, he hangs out with friends every week... sometimes more often. But it's always on the weekdays. He tends to stay out well past midnight, and has to get up for work the next morning. At least he's able to wake up, but I'm getting frustrated being by myself with my toddler. On the weekends, he spends the whole day in his home office. We get Sat. night to go on a date, but it's always a movie that he wants to see. I don't even like to go to the movies because I'd rather do something that we can connect more. I've told him this has bothered me to the point of crying, but he refuses to stop hanging out with his friends. In fact, he has told me that I'm just trying to control him. I'm afraid that not only will this harm our marriage, but that my daughter will grow up missing her daddy. I have no idea what to do since he refuses to listen to me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on Sep. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • no one can really say how much another couple should have girls/guys nights. but if it doesn't work for both of you, its not fair to you guys. he sounds a bit like the controlling one, w/the accusing you of that, out every week and only doing what he likes to do on date night. i personally would probably tell him saturday is now my night, you can stay home and i'm going out w/my girl friends. until he figures out that its not fun to be stuck at home all the time.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:04 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • As much as you hang out with your friends
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • You better put that man in his place before it becomes a habit!
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 11:20 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • i let my man hang out if he wants to when i feel like we spend enough time together. i am not controlling, but to make our relationship work, we need to spend time together and work on it. because he isnt being fair to you, and wont consider your feelings, skip your guys nice out and you go hang out with your friends. do what it is YOU want to do. have as much fun as you want and stay out as late as you want. do this a couple times. he wont like it. but dont listen to him complain. and let him talk you into staying home. try it at least once and see how he feels. if he doesnt seem to mind it, brag. tell him how much fun your having out. "way better than going to some movie..."
    good luck with it!
    krisew90

    Answer by krisew90 at 11:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I think 4 to 8 times a month. No more than twice a week but no less than twice a month. Yeah...u need to make it clear to him that you want him and his company.
    Tickledtrauma

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 11:40 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • I love my hubby to pieces. But he spends too damn much time home! I wish he would hang out with his friends more and me less sometimes! lol. My hubby only talks to his friends on myspace. And occasionally when they run into each other in town. I think your hubby should hang out with his friends as much as he wants, as long as he still finds time for you and your family.
    Ali-Rippy

    Answer by Ali-Rippy at 11:57 PM on Sep. 17, 2009

  • ali-rippy, be careful what you wish for.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • ali-rippy, be careful what you wish for.

    Why is that? Because i wish my hubby would hang out with his friends more i need to be careful? Me and my hubby have been married almost 5 years. We have 2 kids together. And when he isn't at work he's always up my ass. So yeah, i wish he would spend more time with his pals. I don't need to be careful because i said that. If you're talking about cheating, i'm not worried about that either. My hubby is faithful to me. Always has been. So i'm not worried at all about anything. I truly do wish hubby would hang out more with his friends.
    Ali-Rippy

    Answer by Ali-Rippy at 11:36 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

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