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11 yr old DD..how to talk to her about sex?...

My DD just turned 11, and I think its time to have the talk..I just don't know how to start or how much info to give her. She's a very good girl. Goes to school,gets good grades has like 3 friends. She doesn't have much freedom, but she's ok with that..need advise..thanks in advance.. : )

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on Sep. 18, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • My friends little girl is 10 and i helped raise her since she was a baby, she knows she can always ask me any question she has about anything, and does when ever i get her on the weekends i ask her if she has any new questions and i discuss with her mom (who could care less about her daughters questions) what she asked and how i explained it the day i drop her off. When i was pregnant justice had a whole swarm of questions for me, and i explained to her what sex was, by asking her first if she had ever seen a boy's pee bug and she said yes (she's always babysitting somenes kid) and then i explained that when people are married and sometimes aren't married that the boy puts his pea bug into the girls peach, and that's called sex and that's how you make a baby. Then went on to explain that until you are ready to have a baby you shouldn't let the boy put his pea bug into your peach, and told her it was not... cont
    Bluesdawg02

    Answer by Bluesdawg02 at 3:37 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Okay for anyone else to touch her peach and she told me that she already knew that, then after the baby was born she asked a lot more questions about where the baby came from I explained although it lived in my stomach for 9 months he comes out of your peach, there is an opening that you will get your period out of when you are old enough and that’s where he comes out of, she looked horrified for a few moments and then got over that. Until we were giving my son a bath, she said what’s the thing beneath his pea bug, I gave her every name in the book for them, and then explained to her their function etc…
    Bluesdawg02

    Answer by Bluesdawg02 at 3:48 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • … I know there are mom’s on here that won’t agree with me telling someone elses child about the birds and the bees at such a young age but she asked me, her mother spends no time with her at all, and always throws the important questions to the back burner. In fact sad but true when I married my husband we went to dennys and this little girl told me she wished she lived with me and my husband, and started calling us mom and dad for the rest of the night and always calls me mom instead of aunt…..even though I’ve explained to her that her mom is her only mom she always wants to pretent I’m her mom
    Bluesdawg02

    Answer by Bluesdawg02 at 3:49 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Hope this helped sorry about the long drawn out story.
    Bluesdawg02

    Answer by Bluesdawg02 at 3:49 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • OP here...thank you soo much *Bluesdawg02* very helpful.. : )
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Get some books for her and read them together and answer whatever questions she has. You could start out asking what she has learned in health class at school and if she has any questions. Tell her that you will answer whatever questions she has and you won't freak out. Keep the lines of communication open. Make it special, just between you and her. Be honest but age and developmentally appropriate. Age doesn't always matter, it is what she will understand. Good luck!!!
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:19 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Also realize that this should not be one conversation you have with her. It's important to keep communication open so that she's comfortable coming to talk to you about sex and her sexuality and the changes she'll be going through. (Otherwise she may go elsewhere for the information and who knows what she'll learn.) There's the book "Care and Keeping of You" from Amerian Girl Publishing that was helpful for my daughter. I gave it to her and then we went out to lunch just the two of us to talk about it.
    eringobrough

    Answer by eringobrough at 11:02 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • take her shopping with you to buy your monthly needs, and explin to her what those things are for, and how to use them. convientely, condome are right there, so its not a big jump to start explaining those thigs as well
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 2:17 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I'm in totaly shock!! I have four children and from the day they were born I talked to them about sex, body parts, biology, you name it. Your daughter has already heard some pretty wild stuff, if you waited until now. First of all, do not use silly names. It's a vagina and penis, not something to be ashamed of. Secondly sex is simple biology, not anything to do with marriage or relationships, so avoid muddling the two. It's important to talk about phisology of the body, reproduction, stds and birth control. Let them have all the facts. Then come in with your stance of sex and relationships. If it's important that your child wait until marraige, tell them that and tell them why it's important to you. Let them know how much you care for them and that all of this is about their health and safety. That this conversation is only the beginning and you are always there to LISTEN.
    slapperdoodle

    Answer by slapperdoodle at 7:00 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

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