Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Just found out I'm infertile. What next?

I found out today that I can not have children because of scarring on the inside of the uterus that can't be fixed. After crying most of the day, me & my husband talked about our options? Get another women to carry a child? I said no, he didn't really like the idea either. Adoption? We didn't really like it. I mean their is sooo much to it, courts and inspections, seems overwhelming. We couldn't agree on that either. We couldn't think of anything & find ourselves facing a life childless. Any other options? How am I suppose to coop with this? I joked and just said I'm gonna buy a whole bunch of cats.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Sep. 18, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (4)
  • give it time. it's a big decision and you don't have to make it now.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 4:37 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • I am so sorry for the bad news, but don't give up! We tried to TTC for over 5 years, the first year we did a few cycles of clomid after 12 month they said I was sterile. We did a whole bunch of other treatments the second year and after some time they said it wasn't ever gonna happen for us because my ovaries would just not produce good enough "eggs" and or for some reason they couldn't nest in my uterus. Well after 5 years we gave up, made peace with it said to each other we're 4 years away from 30 if it hasn't happened than screw it we're going to adopt. Sure enough 4 month later I am pregnant and I now have a 2 year old.
    Go and get a second opinioin. And even if it really wont happen, I know you are upset now and you want your own baby but maybe in the future you will be able to want and provide for an adopted child.

    Answer by stpalmsgirl at 6:42 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your own fertility. Don't feel rushed to make a decision. The fear and rejection of surrogacy could give way to acceptance and excitement in a few months as the dust settles and you learn more about the options. It's not like it would be a stranger's eggs and sperm that would be used to create your child. They would be from you and your hubby. Sure, it might feel weird to have another woman carry your child....but it's still your bio child. Or, the rigors of the adoption process might feel do-able in time. The path to motherhood is not impossible, just a heck of alot more difficult than the two of you ever thought it would be. I wish you peace in your heart no matter which path you choose.

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 6:55 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • yeah it will take a looong time to come to your decision. about adoption, you are right, the process is loooong and sometimes frustrating i'm sure. but the same can be true of biologically having a child. months of trying to conceive (i suppose you have already been through this though) then about 9 months of waiting... adoption might take a little over a year but it would be well worth the wait! talk to someone who has been through it. or i'm sure you can get free consultations at an adoption agency. i'm sorry you are dealing with this and best wishes!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.