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Would you stay with him and go back to work?

I have benn a stay at home mom for the past almost two years me and my husband are both nurses but my license is on hold so I can stay at home my husband who has become addicted to pain pills in over the past nine months he has came off them twice and always says he'll never do it again then the past month he started taking them again sneaking behind my back and now he has lost his job because he was stealing them from work and now expects me to go back to work until we find out what is going to happen to his license should I stay with him I dont know what to do I dont think he can handle taking care of our two boys 21 months and 10 months?

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 AM on Sep. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • He is an addict he needs to go to rehab and you need to NOT leave them children with him daddy or not he can't take care of himself so he can't meet the needs that your boys would need. just keep your hea up and tell him he needs to check himself into to rehab and when he is done with that you to can review your relationship. GL if you need to chat about things one on one PM me

    Answer by raemommy at 5:31 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • He needs help and well since he is not working then YES you have to go back to work

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • why should I have to work and pay for a house and car that isnt even mine I think I should leave and then YES I will go back to work but I refuse to put my kids in daycare my family will watch them

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Well, it seems to me the question should really only be should you stay or leave? It seems to me that either way, you need to go back to work. If you stay, you need to go back to work since he can't/won't and your family needs to be taken care of, and if you leave, you'll still need to go back to work to support your children.

    As for whether to stay or leave, well, that's something you have to decide. Yes, he's addicted and has not successfully stopped taking pain pills. It is hard to quit an addiction, even when you are determined to quit. You need to ask yourself if he is really trying, and if he really does want to quit. Do you love him enough to stand by him and support him thru what is clearly going to be a long, difficult process? This is a very difficult situation and I'm sorry you're in it.

    Don't leave him alone with the kids, though, not until he's completely clean and has been for some time. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:54 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Yes you have to go back to work. No, I wouldn't leave your child with him though. He is an addict. Try and find a family member to care your child until hubby is clean and trust worthy. ALNON would be a great resourse for you and he needs NA and rehab. Possibly some family counseling to repair your relationship when he is clean and stable agian. This is going to be hard, but you can do it.

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:27 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • so your married and the house that y ou live in and the car that you drive is not yours? Seriously? You know when you get married they are right? Whose stuff are they? Once you get married all debt accumulated while together is half yours. Don't believe me go see a lawyer. Sorry he has to want to get straight and will battle this all his life. You need t figure out if thats something your willing to battle too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Pill addiction is the ugliest kind. It's easier to write off usually goes on longer because no one sees the need for an intervention and can really throw people over the edge. I wouldn't leave my children with him. You never know what he's going to do. Lot of times people on pills get really depressed and violent. Usually with themselves but you never know. I would go back to work and live separately. Tell him he needs to go to rehab and that your supportive but can't put yourself or your children through this any longer. If you're open to continuing this relationship after he gets help tell him that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

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