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serious question about harnesses...

I have always been a harness hater. I think they look horrible. They look like the parent hasn't the ability to teach their child to listen...That being said. I have a 22 month old who is still in the learning process of holding hands and staying close. She is getting better and we will get it. WE are going to Disney in 3 weeks though. I don't want her to have to be in the stroller for 8 hours a day...I am considering getting one for this trip only and then toss that hypocritical? I mean I still hate them but at the same time it may be best for this particular situation. I know there is a time and a place for them I just hate them and don't want to but I do want to...Ahg! Help me!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Sep. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • It might be hypocritical but that's OK. I say I hate Walmart, yet shop there all the time. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:22 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • I think that harnesses aren't necessarily for parents who can't control their children. They are for parents who care enough to help keep their child close. I think that if you use one for this trip you may want to hold onto it for more crowded places in the future, like the airport around holidays. I was a child that was harnessed and so was my SO, but our Mom's were traveling to the US through international airports when we were that little. My LO will be harnessed when we go to crowded places just as yours will be. I don't believe in them for the grocery store or the playground but super crowded places, absolutely.

    Answer by coala at 8:57 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Yes it is hypocritical to me. If you truly hate them do not use one. Put your child in a stroller. Take Her out of the stroller frequently, for exercise. Or just keep track of your DD. With out the harness.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:59 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • I don't like em either but I had one for my son who was go go go, and he was quick too, started walking at 8 months, skinny little guy, very fast!
    We only used it at parade's tho I think we used it once at the fair.
    I don't like them cus it feels like a leash, as children are not pets.
    But think they are great for some occasions where it's busy, and like you said she won't wanna sit in the stroller, it'll give her some freedom and you won't have to worry about her running off or anything... i'd get one for the vacation, couldn't hurt!

    Answer by janeenee at 9:00 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • you know what... maybe you hate the way they look.. but you realized that your child's safety is WAY more important. it's not being hypocritical, it's being a great parent. You will change your mind 10 million times through out your child's life to give your children the best possible life and the safest life as well. And hey you never know you could end up loving and start using the harness other places as well lol!
    Have fun in Disney!!!!!!!! I'm so jealous.. we are planning a trip there next year!!

    Answer by ashjacks4 at 9:01 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Harnesses are NOT about not being able to control your child. I have no issues with them, I was on one until I was at least 6 because I had a tendency to wander. My DD has 3 and she loves them. I only use them when we go to big public events or amusement parks or the airport or something.

    Here's why: Keeps her from wandering off.

    Gives her some independence while still remaining safe.

    Keeps weirdos from snatching her up in a crowded place.

    Just remember, she's better SAFE than dead or missing. Of course it's hypocritical if you feel that strongly about it, but I think if you actually see what they are worth you won't hate them so much. I think your child would be happier too and you less stressed.

    Just my humble opinion though. Have fun on your trip!

    Answer by Xynyth at 9:06 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Yeah, it is a tad hypocritical, especially if you continue to come back on and judge others for using them when you've used one yourself. I've never used one, but I have no problem with them. I am sure that in some cases it is parental laziness that leads to their use, but in most cases it is a desire to keep the child safe while allowing a measure of independence that being buckled in a stroller won't allow. I think your case is a perfect example of the right time to use one, the right motivation for the use of it.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 9:16 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • We have one for punishment. If my 21 month old DD decides to run off & not listen to us she gets put on the harness as like a time out for a few minutes. I then take her back off of it & use it again if needed. She hates the harness & loves her freedom so she dosent do it again after once. You may also be able to rent a wagon while there rather then a stroller this way she can be sitting up looking at all the stuff & even have toys in there to play with or eat her snacks easily.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 9:19 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • OP I have never bashed ('course I try not to bash anyway)them in I said I see where they could come in handy. Airports, fair's very crowded places. I understand why people use them i just never wanted to be that person! lol. I am having such a hard time with this it's stupid!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • I don't like harnesses either so my mom made me a leash that goes around dd wrist, you can buy these too. I only use it in very crowded places or if we will be walking along time, I know dd arm must get tired from being held up to hold my hand so this is an alternitive to that. The ones you can buy at walmart use velcro to keep them on. You might check into one of these, its a harness with the option of wrist. Good Luck , better to be safe!

    Answer by BusyBeesmom at 9:24 AM on Sep. 18, 2009