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Do any other moms out there feel like all you are doing is yelling and saying no all day long?

I have a 20 month old daughter who means the world to me. However, it seems like everyday she is getting worse and worse with her behavior. She never listens to me when I say no (which yes I know is common) and she always just seems to be "testing me" all day long. As soon as her Daddy gets home, she is a changed child. She is so good for him. I am also pregnant with my second child due in December and am so scared of how I am going to deal with her bad behavior all while taking care of a newborn. I guess my question here is, what is the best form of discipline for a 20 month old? I really don't think she understands the time out thing yet. All I am doing at this point is yelling at her and of course this makes me feel like the worse mother in the world. Is anyone else out there this overwhelmed?? Maybe it is also my hormones??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Sep. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • try redirecting more. Instead of yelling no, grab her hand and firmly say no, and then bring her someplace else.

    Also try taking her outside more, its more difficult for them to get into things outside.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:36 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • I have 3&5 year old girls since my second child came yes I do lots of yelling due to the fact that my little one has been teaching my older one how to test me. I would just talk to her when she is doing wrong then if she does it again put her in time out for one minute and after awhile she will learn if I do that then I will sit in time out. Try not to get too stressed it most likely has to do with your hormones.

    Answer by Tdaycare6678 at 1:42 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • well, I guess I try to be lovingly strict with my son - you'd be surprised how much they DO understand time outs if they are being done consistantly at this age!! My son is 22 months and we have a 2 chance rule. Once is an accident and 2nd time the toy is taken away - ( ex: he puts a heavy toy on the table that needs to stay on the floor ) if he whines or crys and will not tell me or point or work with me on what's the matter, In his room - he can come out when he's ALL DONE - that has actually worked the best - at the store, he can either help push the cart and stay by mommy or he's strapped in the cart seat - same 2 chance rule. I have days where its all day crying but he also knows he doesn't get to test me ALL day everyday forever either - which I hope will pay off most later!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:58 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Guess what!? You are normal! You are brinking the terrible twos where all boundaries are tested. Mine didn't star listening too well until about 3. I was preg and had a toddler at the same time and yes,it is harder. You are tired,and probably overwhelmed. You will get through it but unfortunatly you are just getting started! One of mine just turned 2 so here we go again!

    Answer by Steff107 at 2:21 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • The "terrible two's" occur in the second year of life- 12 months to 23 months.

    My daughter is 14 months old, and there are days when I feel like all I say is "no"! It's usually when I'm tired. I try my best to use words and phrases other than "no". Keep giving her boundaries and be consistent. It's not an easy age, not by any means. Good luck!

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:13 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Welcome to the terrible 2's. My daughter also has done this for quite some time now. And the odd thing is she is an "Angel" for everyone else, as soon as i step in the room, its whinning, yelling, misbehaving, hellian. My mother can not believe the drastic change when i come around. So i have stepped up the time outs. I give her till the count of 3 if she does not correct the behavior, she sits in time out, i have now made it so she has to calm down and sing her abc's or count in spanish. then i know the screaming is completely subsided.

    She knows 1,2,3 timeout! and most time she stops and looks at me when i say 2 and fixes it.

    Good luck

    Answer by roxyann76 at 3:24 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • I think it's called discipline, it's normal. This is the age where, they explore everything!... sometimes might even eat it! My toddler ate everything, I had to be soo careful with him, it got scary! He once ate a calculator button. I think all moms feel this way, it's just a phase. By 3 he changed drastically, hang in there!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • TO help maintain your sanity, try changing your wording and approach a bit. When my 2 yr old does something wrong, I tell him what's wrong (i.e. don't touch the lamp, it's hot) then suggest something new to do (i.e. redirect his attention). I've also found that when I know he's testing me (i.e. I can see him waiting for me to look his way), sometimes the best thing I can do is completely ignore him. If he can't get a reaction, he'll often give up. Clearly this only works in cases where he can't do any real harm to himself. While I speak firmly to him, i almost never yell. I reserve yelling for critical things. When I do yet, he stops dead in his tracks! Also, make sure you give the opportunity for a variety of activities (which may be nothing more than a ride to the grocery store) and time to burn off energy outside. A bored child is going to generate his/her own fun and you probably won't like it!

    Answer by momofryan07 at 4:04 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • My LO tests her limits and is almost 15 mos. I just keep telling her no and why she can't do something. Yesterday and today I actually tried talking in a stern voice and it corrected the issue instantly. I hope that it continues. Just make sure that your child has plenty to do and redirect to more safe things to touch or do.

    Answer by coala at 8:19 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

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