I've been thinking a lot lately about the challenges that open adoption brings and how the ones who are left to navigate these challenges are the adoptive family and birth family - eventually the adoptee too if people hang in there and work their way through the bumps in the road.
For the record, I do believe that open adoption greatly benefits the adoptee over closed adoptions. However, I think that often neither birth parents nor adoptive parents are properly prepared for how to actually live out an open adoption. It's one thing to agree that "its best for the adoptee" but quite another to struggle through with things that are common - like what to do when one side "pulls back".
I'd love to hear from all sides that started out commiting to an open adoption - when you've hit a bump in the road where have you found support or advice? I don't think most people just walk away from the commitment to open adoption.
Answer by bellacocco at 10:07 PM on Sep. 21, 2009
They do. If the input from the Mother is reduced to just a figured head. It seems to be a way to promise the moon to both sides mother and child with just the adoptive parents truly being in the driver seat. In the end the child is still at a lost and still takes direction from the adoptive parents. Ask regular parents not in adoption how it feels to have joint custody, a birth mother does not even have that, to say nothing of confusing a child who does not know who to be loyal too. Will my real Mother stand up Please!! Pay with your life and receive 10 cents off. Or two heads NOT allowed here. PS mind was closed
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