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coworker keeps talking about his weight...?

i have this coworker whos a litle overweight. he weighs 185 and isn't very tall, maybe 5'6 or 5'7. idk anyway i weigh more than him, am a woman, and am shorter than him, 5'4

hes always talking about his weight. "i am so overweight. i need to go running. when i was in my 20s i was so thin." he is about 50 and i am 25.

at lunch today there was me, him, a 50 yo woman and 2 25 yo guys. i am the fattest and the young guys are very thin. so he says to them, "ur still young. oh when i was young..." jhe just ignores me because of course he cant say i'm thin because i'm young cuz i'm not thin duh!

ive only been working with him for 3 months but i want to scream every time.

what do you think? do you think he is just clueless? or do you think he is being rude on purpose? do you think i'm overreacting. i just want to cry when he does this. once he even came up to me and asked me "are you going running tonight?" ???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Sep. 18, 2009 in Diet & Fitness

Answers (9)

    i just can't tell if he's trying to pick on me for being fat or what! btw I lost 35 lbs before i had my son but gained it all back and now i have to lose it again. i lost the 35 lbs by eating healthy and exercising. i have not been exercising so that's why i'm so fat :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • He could be doing it b/c he's insecure about his weight. It doesn't sound like he's trying to be mean to you about you being overweight. Does he ever say anything to anyone else about his weight??

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • OP here, yes he talks about it in front of everyone. i kind of feel like he does it around me, so that people will compare him to me and think that he's not overweight, i am. to make himself feel better like the insecure kid being the bully so no one else will bully him?? idk maybe he is just clueless and doesn't even realize.

    i mean when people see me, they think fat, he looks totally normal. no one would ever look at him and say he's fat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • OP again. women do this a lot i think and it's more normal somehow, talk about needing to lose weight when they don't, all in front of someone who really does need to lose weight. i guess it just seems so off because it's a man doing it. i guess i'm being sexist ;) but it really bothers me when anyone does it of course...

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Yea I can see that. I seem to make comments about my weight daily....but I can see where it would be off for a man to do it. I guess I'm sexist too...hehe. As long as he's not directing it towards you ro only making the comments in your presence I wouldn't take it too harshly.

    Answer by KennsWifey at 2:52 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Ah. The 50-year-old weight crisis guy.

    It has NOTHING to do with YOU at all. He doesn't even really acknowledge that you exist except as a pair of ears to listen to him ramble.

    He is COMPLETELY clueless about EVERYTHING except HIS life and what HE thinks he needs to do.

    Know how I know?

    I'm married to the guy. And ya know what? He does it to me too. Me, I ignore it. I suggest you take the same tack.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:02 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • thanks so much everyone! thanks gdiamante, that makes me actually believe that he is just clueless. lol :) OP

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Next time he starts going off about his weight ask him what he plans to do about it. Build a time machine?
    I can remember being a thinner version of myself too but after two kids I'm not quite where I was when I was 20 either.
    If he isn't doing anything to lose weight then he needs to shut the hell up. Complaining doesn't burn calories(well not enough to make a difference anyways).

    What if you talked to him in private and tell him that him constantly harping about his weight in front of you and other people makes you feel uncomfortable and ask him to tone it down or cut it out.
    Maybe he doesn't realize he's being a jerk.
    If he IS doing it on purpose then remind him that you've had a baby...he hasn't.

    Answer by Laila-May at 4:18 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • I know a lot of guys can't tell how much women weigh. He might be one of those guys. He may not realize that his whiney behavior is hurtful to you.

    Answer by OneToughMami at 8:33 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

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