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Are my kids dummies?

I am married to a wonderful man he has 2 other children from a previous marriage (they're teenagers now) we have two children 6 & 8. My question is his ex married a man that is not all that great he is an alcoholic and she drinks as well but I don't get it she is hardly ever home she works and parties on the wkend anyway as the years went by her kids did well in school or enough to pass and me that I am a sahm my kids are not following directions or not listening where did I go wrong I work with my kids with their studies and I do get it why is this happening I keep my thoughts to myself about everything except for now in CM. Help me understand this.
My kids are no dummies they are smart kids but why don't they show it they listen to their dad.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Sep. 18, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • His kids are having to grow up and learn how to deal and fend for themselves alot faster than yours. It doesn't mean they are smarter or better than yours.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Sounds like they aren't applying themselves. My son is the same way at times. I make him accountable. I will help him as much as possible but if he refuses to do his homework or follow directions, I let him take the consequences at school.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:15 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • You cannot compare teenagers to school age kids, that is 2 different developmental milestones. Your stepkids are older and have the coping skills to deal with more adult situations, how to do things for themselves. They understand accountability, responsibility and self respect. It does not mean that your kids are not smart, they are just younger and need more help and time to growup. You just have to make them responsible for their actions, if they don't do their homework, they suffer the consequences. Do NOT do their homework for them, do NOT fight with them, let them deal with what happens at school. It's hard but, you need to do it.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:59 PM on Sep. 18, 2009


    Answer by incarnita at 10:19 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Well, When my dau was in 1st grade her teacher was organized and the class was mostly on the same level. Even though my dau was advanced, she gave her extra work & assigned her to help a few classmates. In 3rd grade, the teacher had several students at lower then grade level. The class was disorganized, and I felt it was a wasted year. The reason I mention this, is because it is hard to leave school work undone & expect consequences from the teacher. At this age the teacher expects you to make sure there work is done. So I don't agree that you should let them leave their work unfinished.

    When we were in elementary school, we had 2 recesses plus lunch. Kids are lucky to get one now. It is hard to sit & pay attention w/ants in your pants. Possibly before you start homework, you could let them play for an hour. Make sure it isn't video games. Make them ride a bike, go to playground, ect. cont.

    Answer by moneymagnetmom at 11:23 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Then have them sit & do their homework. Concerning not listening. I always told my dau, "You need to listen to mommy's words", and she did. Keep repeating that, and it will help. Another thing I did with her was puzzles. You can start w/20 piece at their age. I only put out the border pieces. After the frame was together, she was allowed to see the inside pieces. This concentration helps with math skills. Plus it is a fun activity you can do together. Also schedule free time after HW is done.

    My son has some dsylexia. 3rd grade was the worst year of my like. I spent 3 hours a nite helping him with his homework. I was lucky he was my 1st as I wouldn't have had time to help the others. In 4th, I put my foot down. I asked how long was he required to spend on homework nightly. I was told 40 min. So when he came home w/20 math problems, we did 6 to 10. It made my life & his much easier.

    Answer by moneymagnetmom at 11:32 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • NOT calling them dummies would be a start.. Also not comparing them to teenagers would be another thing. Seems you are expecting WAY too much out of these kids and comparing them to kids that are much older and completely different is way wrong (And chances are they pick up on this and probably don't give their best because no matter what you will compare them.)

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 1:53 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

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