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Porn???

When i was preggers my SO was constantly looking at porn and "relieving himself". IT was CONSTANTLY, it didn't matter that i was home or in the next room, and I've never denied him or told him no when he's wanted it. We've talked about it, he's "promised" that he wont do it anymore. Yet, I still feel so betrayed. I gained so much weight during pregnancy, and still have to lose, like 60 lbs. I'm insecure, fat, and stuck at home with a baby all day. Is this just me being silly? Is porn no big deal? I think it's degrating and disgusting.....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Sep. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I agree with you OP! It is degrading and disgusting. You'll get plenty of people to tell you it's not and that it's normal. You'll just have to excuse their ignorance on the subject. Stand your ground and tell him how it makes you feel.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:46 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • If that is how you feel about it, you have every right to feel that way, I agree 100 % with legalmommy....

    PS, you could be 100 pounds, 6 foot with blonde hair and he would still do it and it would still hurt just as much....
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 7:51 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • OMG I know how you feel one day we were at his moms house and he went to take a shower and i was about 3 months pg and i walk in on him doing his thing to this porn site from his iphone i punch him in the face and freaked the f out bc at first i thought it was a vedio chat with some whore and i didnt know his iphone could actually go to websites like that and play those vedios well anyways i was furious bc he never watches porn and i felt like i was getting fat and he didnt want me but he told me was bc he didnt want to do it in his moms house with her right next door, but still i was pissed and he has never watched again i feel like it is cheating in a way.
    ggiovanni

    Answer by ggiovanni at 8:13 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • I agree with you op
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 8:26 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Porn is a huge deal in any relationship. In a lot of cases it will destroy a marriage. I can't believe you have to ask if it's a big deal! Having your husband get off to naked women on the internet is cheating. Cheating isn't just physical...it's also when he thinks about other women and lusts after them. He needs help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Getting off to any porn is cheating and I feel for you stand your ground if it makes you uncomfortable. They should love us no matter our size and not having to be getting off to some other chick no matter where it is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • If it makes you feel disguested. degraded. depressed. upset. ect. ect he should respect your feelings.
    Which does he care more for? Spankin' the monkey or his wife?
    To me the boundaries in a relationship is made by BOTH people.. If 1 feels its crossing a line then -there ya go! you just dont do it if you care for the other person.
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 9:13 PM on Sep. 18, 2009

  • Pink Cross Foundation...Shelly Lubben
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Porn is not acceptable in a marriage. He is spending time with and giving his attention to the porn, and what is on it. That is time and attention he should be giving you and the family. If a man is spending his time with someone else, whether a real person or a video, it is cheating. Porn becomes an addiction to men because they are visually stimulated. When a woman has to compete with a porn video for her husband's attention, then it has gone too far. And for me, once is too far. I flat out told my husband from the beginning, I do not allow porn in my relationship, in my house, on my computer, on my tv, nothing, nowhere, at any time. I do not have to justify it by saying it makes me feel bad about myself (which it does) I only have to say I DO NOT ACCEPT THAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR. Porn ruins relationships and marriages. I have seen it first hand.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 11:55 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I said one thing to my hubby that really got through to him. I told him flat out, without yelling or being upset, "If you are taking care of yourself when you are watching porn, then what am I supposed to do when I want sex? I'm horny and now you can't give me what I want, what am I suppose to do?" For whatever reason, that got through to him. Perhaps the idea that if he didn't take care of business at home, maybe I would go looking elsewhere?? Even though I never would, I do not believe in cheating at all. But it turned the situation around and now it was no longer about what he was doing wrong, but about what was I suppose to do for sex. Men are strange and sometimes you just have to find what will get through to them. Then again, sometimes nothing gets through and you just have to cut your ties and better your own life.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 11:58 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

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