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Do you feel like you don't have to work at your marriage?

Do you ever feel guilty for it coming so easy to you while you know others struggle in theirs?

I have a great marriage, but I hate talking about it, because I am the only one of my friends/family that does. Everyone else I know that I talk to really, is having one problem or another all of the time it seems. So I actually feel guilty for having a solid, mostly easy marriage.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:31 AM on Sep. 19, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (18)
  • I have a great marriage too but I can't say it's been easy. It has been a lot of work and really tough sometimes but I definitely think it has paid off and my husband and I have grown together and are on the same page. Then again we have only been together for two years, married for one of them. I hear the first year is always the hardest. If that is the case then I look forward to the future.
    Tickledtrauma

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 3:38 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I have to say that I really do have to work on my marriage, especailly after having kids, but I'm glad because we are both growing and learning through our struggles. Infact today we wer both really stressed out and said some things from our frustration and immediately we turned it around by apologizing and taking responsibility. I have really learned to humble myself and admit my wrong without blaming or becoming the victim. My husband and I have come a long way and I'm actually very proud of us :)
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 3:38 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • btw... we have been married for 6 years and together for 10, the first year of marriage was really easy (even with living with his inlaws!) it was the 5 year mark of marriage, plus having kids involved, that really the the obstacle we had to overcome.... but every couple is different.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 3:40 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for almost 5. He had a son that was 14 months when we started dating and we now have one child together. I am exactly in the same boat as OP. We are just in this state of bliss about 96% of the time, and the times we do fight/argue/struggle, we handle it as soon as we can and get things taken care of. However, my parents are falling apart, my sister's husband is in rehab, my other sister's boyfriend is so selfish, my inlaws are on the breaking point all the time, my best friend is actually contacting a divorce attorney next week, and my good friend's husband just got put in jail for domestic violence. So I start wondering if there is anyone else out there that isn't fighting day in and out every single day to make it a tolerable experience.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:45 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • i have to say so far it has been kinda effortless...we just click, we have from the very beginning! i think we are very lucky, but some people say it changes when a baby comes so i guess we will see! but i hope it stays just this easy...the only thing we bicker over is the trash and the dishes lol oh! and when he steals my towel lol
    danette624

    Answer by danette624 at 6:08 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I have a very good easy marriage that I rarely work at. I do know what you mean about bragging because you just don't want to rub it into other people's faces. I'm going on 10 years of marriage and 3 years of dating. I always felt that we just grew up together...met in college and just grew to become one person. I think people should marry early for this purpose. Otherwise, you are set in your ways as you get older and it just becomes harder.
    mschanng

    Answer by mschanng at 7:19 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I feel the same way as the OP.  I've been married 21 years and for the most part it has been easy.  Yes we have our moods and yes we sometimes argue but usually we are on the same page.  The tough times in our marriage have been issues that we tackled together

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 7:25 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • We have had a lot of Poo happen. Parents, jobs, money. But no matter what. we love each other.
    IceMistress105

    Answer by IceMistress105 at 8:04 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Wish I can say that it has been easy, but it hasn't. We have had some pretty rough times, but I don't regret those times though. They have really made us appreciate our marriage and each other. We have been married about 14 years by the way.

    It is really nice to hear that not everyone has problems in their marriage. Good for you! I hope that kind of married life is what my kids are able to enjoy someday.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 8:17 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Our marriage is pretty easy. I always figured it was because we have known each other for so long. We met in high school, freshman year. We hung out in the same group of friends and were just really good friends. DH was actually the one I went to too when boyfriends would break up with me and such. We started dating my junior year of college. Since we were friends for so long there were no secrets to share, we already knew everything. Now, after six years of marriage and three kids it is just as easy and fun as when we were first married. Not saying that we don't argue or anything. When we do it is just stupid and we get over things really fast. I would say the hardest part is finding time to get out alone. But usually we manage to get a night out a month and a two night stay away from kids once a year. I think that really helps in keeping our marriage stable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

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