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How do you feel about adopting from another country?

Why are there so many children in the orphanages? Do you think they were coersed into abandonment? Is it better being an a mom if it's not from the US? Morally is it okay to take a child if you don't know why they are there? IDK! Anyone know anything about the subject? I find it interesting.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 AM on Sep. 19, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (16)
  • I am glad that you asked this question: I feel that no matter how you create your adoptive family, whether it be foster, domestic or international, you have every right to do so.

    I dont like when I hear that people shouldnt adopt internationally when there are kids waiting here because, again, everyone makes their own choices.

    BUT, what I think is more wrong is when those same International Adoptive parents will complain about coercion in the US. Coercion may be questionable in the US but it is just about guaranteed in other countries. A bmom in China is human and grieves just as much and probably more so because she truly will never see that baby again.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I think it is great! My family is built via international adoption. We couldn't be a happier or more blessed bunch of folks. Great kids that needed parents, great parents that wanted kids. It is a win-win!!! My daughter was "there" because she was born with a cleft lip and palate and likely her birth mother did not have the resources to help her. She was abandoned and resided in that hell hole orphanage for four years. My sons each had their own stories as well, and I DO know why they were "there". Adoption isn't all the hype and spin you read in the media. There are very REAL kids that NEED families, both in this country, and around the globe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I really don't get people who say it's better to adopt from the US than other countries. If a child needs a home I don't think it's nationality should matter. What worries me are the stories of child trafficking where the children are kidnapped from their parents. Adoption is big business abroad just as it is here and can lead to corruption. I also worry about the adoptee losing it's culture and heritage although I've seen some very encouraging posts from aparents who realise the effect of this and are trying to honor their child's heritage. And then there's the reunion side of things. Being adopted from another country does make searching extra hard, although it need not be if every thing is above board and good records are kept. I guess I just think the paps need to be very mindful of the downside of adopting internationally.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 10:40 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I think it's more important what YOU think about it than what I think about it. It's completely up to you how you choose to add to your family. I used to think that inter'l took longer, that domestically was a shorter wait time (And of course we want it to happen ASAP, *smile*), but I have found out that's not necessarily the case. (We were leaning towards domestic because the agency websites SAID wait times could be as little as 4 mos & we knew int'l was 2-3 yrs. We ended up, instead, as foster/adopt parents (3.5yrs). I think its important to learn as much as you can about ALL types of adoption & see where your heart takes you. What we knew about adoption before we started this journey would have fit in a thimble. I believe that wherever your heart takes you is the right way FOR YOU. I have friends that have been truly blessed by adoption thru international, domestic, & foster care adoption. God bless you on your journey!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 3:24 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I have no issues with international adoptions. Very few adoptions each year are actually international adoptions. Out of of 100,000 adoptions each year only 1/3 are from other countries. Half are through foster care and the other half are domestic adoptions.  

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:51 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Onethentwins: I second that concern about child trafficking. It is not popular to speak about and I get trashed even mentioning that in my friend groups (in person) who have adopted. Not popular. We are finding out that thousands of children have been kidnapped and are living here in the United States and Europe. If I had to guess I'm sure this topic would start a huge debate. I'm for international adoption - just not for child trafficking. Actually Russia has the best international program going right now as far as protecting the adoptee and their young citizens.  While parents have to jump through many more hoops than most international adoption situations, when you bring your child home you know that child is truly your child legally and ethically.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:58 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I have mixed emotions. It depends on many factors:
    1) Why a family wants to adopt internationally. I have heard some aparents come right out and say they do so because they don't want to have to deal with a birth family. I know this is not the case for all families who adopt internationally.
    2) If the country is one that has received lots of attention for children being stolen from their families, etc. This IS a hot topic. Never have I been bashed more than bringing up this subject. Yet, I cannot understand why people continue to adopt from countries that are known for sketchy and unethical adoption practices. But, the fact is, they do and are VERY defensive about it.

    Hard to say that chlldren stuck in orphanages are not better off with families. But, if they are in orphanages because they were stolen, that's obviously wrong. It is a complicated subject. However, I have more problems with domestic newborn adoption.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 7:53 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • As for why there are so many children in orphanages overseas, two main factors contribute to this I think. Most of the most popular countries to adopt from are very poor countries. Women have little access to birth control and cannot afford it. In many of these countries abortion is not common either. So, they have babies they cannot afford. Poverty is probably the main reason so many babies are in orphanages overseas.

    In China, of course, laws for decades fined women (or there were other dire consequences) when they had more than one child. Boy babies are more favored there, and that results in more female babies being abandoned. It is not legal either, I believe in China, to place a child for adoption, so babies are abandoned on street corners, etc.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 8:00 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • In China, some stolen children, are claimed as abandoned. The traffickers go across the country where the child was stolen from and then tells the agency the child was found without a home or caregivers. Adds are placed in the location the child was said to be "found" and then from there the baby gets into the system and is legal as far as the agency and the country is concerned. Parents who have had a child stolen are usually too poor to hire detectives or go to the police. If I were to ever do international adoption I would need a DNA test to know that the woman who signed the papers is the woman who is actually the mother. That is the other problem. Women posing as the birthmother.  I often feel overwhelmed.  We have genocide going on, human trafficking, and other horrors yet no one seems to give a damn.  Not really enough to actually make it stop.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • As far as requesting a DNA test in China goes...that will not happen...ever..
    Typically, a child that is "stolen" in China, that child is not ever in an orphanage.. that child is sold to another family that has lost a child or is infertile. Child trafficking is actually a major crime in China and when it does occur, if the perpetrator is caught, they can be put to death. Their laws are very strict. There was a trafficking scandal a few years ago in the Hunan province. When officials found out, all adoptions from that province were suspended for 2 years, and the people responsible were put in jail immediately. If I remember correctly, they have already been executed.
    Of all the children that came from the Hunan province that were adopted int'lly.. only a handful were deemed stolen and none were adopted by US citizens. Those children were in The Netherlands, Australia and Italy.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 10:04 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

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