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How can i talk sex with my teen daughter?

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Asked by Vanessa816 at 7:26 AM on Sep. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (9)
  • I would start out asking what she knows and what she wants to know. It can be embarassing, but you want her to always come to you to ask stuff, so just do your best. If she says she "knows" something but it's not true, be sure to set her straight. Talk about your values and expectations.

    I always told my son he could ask me anything, but I sure wasn't prepared when he was 11 and asked what is oral sex and I said where did you hear that and his answer was a girl at school said she would do it for me. YIKES!!! Talk, talk, talk!!!!

    Answer by kjrn79 at 7:52 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • There is no other way but the straight and honest approach. Explain to her the importance of her virginity and how she should not give it out to just anyone and how sex is much more meaningful when emotions are involved. In the same note explain how it changes relationships and the importance of protected sex. Tell her about how her hormones affect her desire, and how they should be controlled until she feels ready to act on them. Tell her not to give in to peer pressure, to be her own woman and not buckle under pressure. Tell her how special she is and how her first encounter should be as special too, a memorable moment to last a lifetime.


    Answer by older at 9:04 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Couldn't have put it any better myself...older! ;-)

    Answer by Loryl at 10:00 AM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • This is not one conversation. This is a series of talks that start practically at birth, by teaching your child the proper names for body parts and their functions.
    Look for teachable moments: a television program with a pregnant character; a pregnant friend or relative, etc.
    I don’t know how old your child is, but by the mid-teen years your child should have a solid grasp of the male and female reproductive systems, forms of contraception, you should have had the (life saving) banana and condom chat, etc.


    Answer by rkoloms at 1:04 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • LOL I don't like bananas...therefore we rarely have them around. She's's time to get some bananas. I haven't tried to do the banana/condom demo yet because she hasn't been that worldly. She's so into the boys's crazy. Hormones raging. I think I'll pick up my demo items today. lol We've already been over and over the other areas.


    Answer by Loryl at 2:36 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Start out by being open. Your daughter will not feel comfortable talking to you about sex if you don't give her a chance to talk. Ask her to tell you what she already knows, and then you can fill in the blanks. It doesn't have to be as dreaded as most people make it out to be. It's better she gets sex facts from her mother than from her friends.

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 9:13 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • It depends on how old your teen is. This is a topic that should be discussed from a very young age, but should be done age and developmentally appropriate. I have been talking to my 13 year old about sex, his body, etc since he was about 6. It is something we talk about on a regular basis. He gets a lot of info in health class and I just reinforce what he learns. We talk about what he learns and he knows that he can ask me any questions and I won't freak out. I explain what he wants to know calmly, openly and as best as I can. If I can't answer his questions or if he isn't comfortable asking me, he knows that he can go to my exboyfriend and ask him. Just keep the lines of communication open, don't freak out and be honest. It is better that you answer her questions than her learning "on the streets" or in the halls at school. That isn't so reliable.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:23 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Just be totally honest. I was very open with my daughter when she was 12 b/c I didn't want her to hear all those freaky things out there. I'd rather she heard it from me and know what everything is all about. She is now 17 and will still come to me with just about any question b/c she knows I'm not going to bs her.

    Answer by Suzieq66 at 9:43 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • You might try making a powerpoint if you are uncomfortable with actually talking about it add music (S.E.X. by Lyfe Jennens is a good one) Put all the facts in it show diagrams of reproductive systems and how babies happen. Then have her watch it. Tell her you will answer any questions she might have.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

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