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How do you think your discipline methods effect your children emotionally?

I'm not trying to start drama - I am writing a paper for my psychology class on different discipline methods & the emotional effect they have on children. One article I'm using for this paper talks about "conditional parenting" and holding love & acceptance back from children when they do something wrong. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health/15mind.html?_r=1&em
I would love everyone's thoughts & opinions - it would be great if you left your name & I'll cite you!

Answer Question
 
Wheepingchree

Asked by Wheepingchree at 2:17 PM on Sep. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,786 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • What do you mean by holding back love and acceptance? How is that even possible unless your a sociopath?
    MILFInProgress

    Answer by MILFInProgress at 2:38 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Did you read the article?
    Wheepingchree

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 2:39 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Oh ok I read the article...makes you think.....
    MILFInProgress

    Answer by MILFInProgress at 2:42 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I used tough disciplin on both my kids. When they deserved it they got spanked, just like I did growing up. I took away toys and privledges. I would make them sit in the corner in a chair facing the wall. My kids are both in college now and have good heads on their sholders, The know right from wrong and dont expect the world to hand them anything. They know they have to earn anything they want on their own and it only comes with hard work and self disciplin
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 3:34 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • We don't spank in this house. With my son he is easy going and usually he just needs redirection. He is 9 1/2 and my punshiment for not talking when he should be practicing his trumpet is more time. If he doesn't read his 400 minutes for the month for school I told him I won't lie and he will accept the consquences in school for not reading. If he doesn't does something in school that is unacceptable then we take away his games. He knows right from wrong and we go to church to reinforce those values. When he was little he was a biter and would receive time-outs. However, afterwards he was still my little boy. He doesn't swear, he is friends with everyone, and when he does something he accepts responsiblity. Hopefully he will continue to have a good head on his shoulders.
    robinsi2000

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 4:33 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Three or four whippings that I remember was all it took for me to do what they said when they said. Was it an effective way of parenting? Guess it depends on what your goal is for your children. I know as long as I played by all the rules and did what my parents said they love me. I even graduated high school valedictorian. The only thing I ever wanted was to be me without them making me feel like scum of the earth. By the time I was 21 I had no self esteem and no direction whatsoever. It wasn't until I met my husband in 1987 that I knew what unconditional love actually was. We used unconditional love on our children, no spanking, and today our 20-year-old daughter has graduated from King's College, and our 17-year-old son is a future soldier in the US Army. They are not afraid to be who they are, something that's taken me 42 years to do. If the goal is that they be happy value producers and creators then mission accomplished.
    ajeffery1032

    Answer by ajeffery1032 at 5:51 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I think from looking at my children that appropriate and loving discipline makes them more secure. Kids need boundries, they need to know that if sister slugs them they will be protected by a parent. They need to know that mom and dad care enough to teach and discipline, they go hand in hand, them, so they can be successful adults.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 8:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • My husband told me one day that I was screaming at our kids too much. I have a 3 year old boy, a 2 year old girl, and I'm 35 weeks pregnant. I didn't even realize I was screaming all the time. SO, I took a parenting class and was taught the best thing ever. Know thy child. I still spank my children from time to time but for the most part, there is always an underlying issue. For example, if my son was woken up early and is whining a few hours later about everything I know that he is only whining because he is still sleepy, therefore, he doesn't get a spanking, he gets held. After I changed my "discipline methods" I soon seen a change for the better in both of my children. Now, I ask them to do something, they do it. Before, they were actually a bit scared of me and hated being yelled at. Getting to know them helped me in discipline A LOT! I'm not sure if I answered the question but I tried, lol.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 10:41 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

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