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Am I taking the easy way out?

My hubby is always on the computer. He never wants to spend time with our son. I lately have been considering leaving him and staying with friends. Of course I'd take our son because no way would I leave him. I work a full time job, clean his grandmothers house, go to college full time and at home taking care of son until 430am trying to get him to sleep and up at 9 am to start a new day. I'm exhausted with no help. I'm so resentful of hubby cause I am given no money after the bills are paid for me or my son. He isn't allowed to see my parents cause my hubby has a list why. One I agree with is the smoking but I think he can still spend time with them. I feel as if I should have some money. I also feel as if I'm being isolated lately. My hubby is the type that will pout if I talk to him with his lip stuck out and stomp around and will refuse to talk to me. he feels that our son gets all the attention. Help Me!

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Asked by TACXBCBJC at 2:45 PM on Sep. 19, 2009 in About CafeMom

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Answers (5)
  • You definetly need to stand up for yourself. He needs to see how busy you are and help you out! Although he has reasons why your son shouldn't see your parents, he still needs to realize that it's family and all family has a right to spend time with your child. Would it be that hard to talk to your parents about some of the things that you guys disagree with, come to a compromise? You need to try to talk to him, and if he pouts and won't listen, then make him see that you're hurting for attention and help. I would leave for a while, sometimes people don't know what they've got until it's gone. Does he work? If he doesn't work, then he should have no say what you do with your money as long as bills are being paid. You're so busy that he should have at least a part time job to help with expenses. Just stand your ground, keep your head up, and know that YOU and your son deserve better!

    Answer by princessj05 at 2:50 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • He works part time but he gets home by 5 and refuses to take care of our son. he drops him off at his relatives house til I get home from work then I am taking care of our son, finishing homework and cooking dinner. it's getting harder and harder for me to have strength to do all the housework. He will not even wash dishes. He says he has too much on him but when I call him from work to just talk he is usually with friends or helping someone else fix their computer. I feel like I should have read the fine print under his name on the marriage certificate. We have more than enough money to pay bills but he refused to pay my cellphone so i have no way to contact family expect for online when the baby naps. He says I wouldn't be able to make it without him but I do that already. I think we could compromise on my family part but he isn't the one to compromise. It's his way or no way at all. *sigh*

    Answer by TACXBCBJC at 3:02 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • He is definitely trying to isolate you and you need to stop it.You need to stand up for yourself before it gets out of hand and get counseling as a family or just leave before it escalates. You already do the hard part on your own and if you have family to help maybe you should take a break from each other for a while. No matter how you look at it, this is not healthy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • LEAVE NOW!!!!!!!! He is controlling you and isolating you from your family and that is NOT ok. You need to stand up for yourself and your son. You work, go to school and take care of your what you can to fend for yourself. Stay with friends or family until you can get your own place, file for custody of your son. Contact a women's shelter or domestic violence shelter and have them help you out of this situation before it gets worse. Leave asap, get counseling. Protect yourself and your baby.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:50 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • sounds controlling to me as well. if you want to try it, you can see if he'd be willing to go to counseling. approach it as a, we need to work on figuring out how to make our relationship work better and an unbiased third party may be able to help us do so. as far as your son not seeing your family, well he's your son as well, if you put him in the car and go he can't stop you, w/o being violent and if he would do that, i wouldn't even bother w/the counseling. honestly, i don't know that i'd bother w/it at all if it were me. b/c he sounds like a controlling ass to me.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:39 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

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