Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

WORRIED MOM

HI MY DAUGHTER RECENTLY TOLD ME SHE'S BISEXUAL AND SHE'S 16. WHEN SHE TOLD ME IT DEVASTED ME. I TOLD HER IS JUST A PHASE AND SHE SAID NO. I WANT TO BELIEVE IS A PHASE BUT SHE TELLS ME NO. WHAT DO I DO? PLEASE HELP!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Sep. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • try and accept it and REALLY try not to bash her about it or talk her out of it as she is VERY younge to be knowing what sexual orientation she is. Trying to talk a 16 y.o out of anything will only make them dig in and do it more.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 3:13 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Mom, if she believes she is there isn't much you can do to change it. What you can do is the same for any teen. Teach her about abstinence. Teach her about safe sex if she refuses to be abstinent. I think the 'bi-sexual' girls thing is really in vogue right now. Make sure she knows she can get STDs from women just as she can from men. Teens are tough, but flipping out on her will only push her further from you. At least she felt okay enough to share with you in the first place.

    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:17 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • it is not a phase - I knew I was bisexual when I was 15... deal with it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • You may also want to sit down with her and talk. Find out if she has other friends that are bisexual. Has she done anything to that nature herself and like someone else said do give her the information to be safe no matter who her choice of partner is when the time comes. Right now it is very popular to be bisexual so it "could" be peer pressure but if it isn't that is OK too! Take it a day at a time and try to be supportive no matter what her choice of lifestyle.
    Katysmom

    Answer by Katysmom at 3:31 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • In my opinion there's a good chance it is just a phase, but either way you need to accept your daughter no matter what her sexual preference. Unconditional love...
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 3:34 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Bisexual till graduation (from college) is very common now. I personally wouldn't worry about it other than to teach her about stds (and yes a lot of them have a form that can show up in your mouth too). Ignore it till she brings a life partner home. I would say of the bisexual girls I know, about 70% of them settle with a guy for life., that doesn't mean they aren't interested in girls, just means "the one" for them is a guy. Gl (and really, does it matter who she is having fun with?)
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 3:43 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Why is it so devastating to you that she is bisexual? Being bisexual doesn't mean "sexually active" it means that she is attracted to both male and female.
    Were you concerned about her being promiscuous when you thought she was heterosexual?

    The fact that she came out to you is a big deal. If you flip out and alienate her, whether it's a phase or not, she will resent you for it.
    At the end of the day, she is still your daughter and you still love her. Her sexual orientation shouldn't change that.

    Wouldn't it be less stressful for her to be with another female if/when she's sexually active? At least you wouldn't have to worry about teen pregnancy ; )

    Seriously though. She's still your daughter. Being bi or gay doesn't change her.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 7:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • You accept it and love her.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 5:12 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR ANSWERS AND SUPPORT! I MEAN I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER BUT THE WAY I FOUND OUT I WAS CONFUSED AND DUMBFOUNDED. BUT WITH THE ANSWERS I GOT LETS ME REALIZE THE WAY I'M HANDLING IT WAS RIGHT. SO THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I personally hate the "just a phase" term because I came out and told my mother about me being bisexual at 14 - It's not just a phase all of the time granted for some it is - but if she's telling you that's the best thing so far - doesn't mean she's out sleeping with guys or girls it's just her expressing her sexually which is NOTHING wrong with it - you just accept it and love her for her not for her sexuality =)
    dorkish_face

    Answer by dorkish_face at 7:12 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.