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If your dh was a deadbeat at keeping a job would you keep him around?

My dh is no competitor for husband of the year that is for sure. But he does a lot of talking and not a lot of backing up. My kids need me at home and I am really upset that he gets to constantly lose jobs and have the benefits of staying home with the kids while I work. I don't make nearly what he brought home. Not even a fourth of what he did. How is this fair? He gets to keep effing up and have me pick up the peices? I don't recall giving birth to him.


Asked by sweetpea532 at 9:24 PM on Sep. 19, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • Anon....if she made as much as her dh did or even close to what he did I would totally agree with you. However, if there's a substantial loss of income and he does nothing around the house which means that his wife is going to work all day and then come home and have to do housework and laundry then no, it's not okay. If the wife is making just as much or more than her dh is/was and he wants to be a SAHD and they can afford it I see nothing wrong with it AS LONG AS he's taking care of the children, the house and the laundry just like SAHM's do.

    To answer the ?.....if my husband wouldn't keep a job and was willing to allow us to barely make ends meet then yes, I would do something about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • No I wouldn't keep him. I got rid of my dead beat dh and my life got better even with three small kids to take care of

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:26 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • I'd give him a choice - get a job (and keep it) or get out. If he cares enough about his family he'll get a job - if he doesn't care enough than you shouldn't be working to support him!! good luck.

    Answer by stepmom929 at 9:27 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • double standards of gender roles to boot!

    Answer by MHaney1980 at 9:41 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Why not reverse roles and you go work and he stays home with the children. 


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • Anon Because I don't make as much as he does. Maybe read the whole thing before you respond? Also because this always happens and I am the mother to everyone and the provider while my kids care is less than par. He does this every like 6 months and we live in the worst place ever and he has no gumption to get off his fat ass and better himself and I am tired of caring for his lazy ass.

    Answer by sweetpea532 at 10:50 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • My Dh is out of work now this is his 3rd fire in the past 9 years with a plethora of jobs in between "layoffs". His average of time between jobs is 6 months. But get this he doesn't like where I work and wants me to change I'm like um well I've been at my job over 2 years so I tell you what you keep a job for for more than a year then you can pick MY profession until then go fill out some applications in PERSON instead of online. We are planning to move to my moms where there are jobs. There are none here where we live now and I can transfer to where my om lives. I love my Dh but he is my third child........I must train him


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 11:15 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • You have children to "train". Obviously your dh's mother failed him, send him back to her and tell her if she can raise him better, then you'll take him back, maybe.

    Answer by mumma28 at 11:53 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • So if you stay home its OK? If he stays home he is a jerk? Wow.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Sep. 19, 2009

  • What brought the two of you together--money or love?My husband has been out of work on and off--for 8 yrs.,it really sucks and to top it off,he's on anti-depressants so we never have sex anymore and when he's in the mood,he won't wear a condom!So, I'm on medication too,all kinds and now I have to take birth control?Men always get it their ways,they're stubborn pain in the a##'s.I think you should go back to work anyways and leave the kids to him,it's still a job for him.Mine takes care of our daughter and thankgod because I've never been cut out to be a mother 24/7.He's realizing that moms have hard jobs too and he often talks about really wanting to get a job.Even though he doesn't try that hard,I know he wants to support us and that he cares for us.So look deep within and see if you still have an attraction to him,other than having a job and money that's what I did.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Sep. 20, 2009