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WHAT would you do about your 8 year old if he did this?

Yesterday my son hung out with this other boy (9 yrs old) that he always hangs with. Let's call the child, Mike. Mike is the kid in the neighborhood that all the other kids want to hang around with, maybe because he's the only one who doesn't have rules, and he's kind of a rebel. Mike decided to go thru his grandma's garden with my son and throw tomatoes at random things, such as houses, and cars. My son follows because he has a hard enough time making friends. I was at work and my DH handled this when my son is screaming and crying all the way down the street as a lady who was driving got hit by one of the flying tomatoes. I happened to be on the phone with my husband when they came to the door. The lady threatened to call the cops, and my husband talked her out of it. Mike's grandma and mother were also present, as was another child who witnessed the incident (he wasn't a participant). Needless to say we talked to my son....

 
mumma28

Asked by mumma28 at 12:05 AM on Sep. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 8 (240 Credits)
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Answers (19)
  • honestly, i'd probably tell him it's up to him to make the right decision regarding mike. if he can hang out with mike, and not be around trouble than it may be good for mike to be around him. you may find out he doesn't want anything to do with the kid anymore, you may find that he still hangs with mike but he learned his lesson and may push mike in the right direction, or you may find that he does something stupid with mike again, but the only way to find out is to allow him to be around the kid. if he screws up again, than yes i'd tell him he can't be around him. but you have to trust that what you have taught him by him being punished sinks in and he makes the right choice.
    and on a side note, if someone does call the police by them pulling a stunt like that again, maybe mike and the other boys in the neighborhood will learn their lesson getting a talking to from the cops.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:28 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I'd punish him considerably, and give him the opportunity to learn about showing respect-for himself and for other people. I also would not let him play with Mike. Period. You could try to talk to Mike's grandparents/guardians about this, but it may not produce much of a result. Some people just don't know how to use common sense when it comes to their kids.
    sweetmoonem

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 12:08 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • ..About why this was wrong, etc, and grounded him for 2 weeks. We made him do chores and clean the house today as further punishment. I look out my window to see none other than Mike and the rest of the neighborhood kids riding around on their bikes!!! I was pissed. What can I do though, I am not this child's mother. To think that mike caused this, and my son is now being taught a lesson, but mike got no punishment at all? I told my son that he is no longer allowed to play with Mike at all because I don't want my son going to jail for or with him in the future. My problem is that Mike plays with ALL the other children in the neighborhood, and I don't want to leave my son without friends because there's nothing I can do about this kid. What would you do?
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:10 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I would make him wash every car that he hit with a tomato and if the people wanted their walls washed I would make him do that too. My son took chalk one time and graffitied the park sign across the street from our house, he got sent out there with a bucket of hot water and soap and he had to clean the sign, he never did that again.

    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:14 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • the real reason is because thats the kind of stuff boys do. we just live in a society where everything is wrong or mischiveous, but its just boys being boys. you will probably experience this much more throughout his lifetime. as long as its not endangering someone, just chalk it up to kids having fun. i would just stress the fact that it isnt acceptable to damage or ruin other peoples' property. like when i was a kid, we used to tick-tack (throw corn at peoples' houses around halloween) but now kids actually get arrested for it. seriously??? its just corn kernels. it cant be that damaging. our society needs to lighten up and let kids enjoy being kids.
    brodysmama23

    Answer by brodysmama23 at 12:15 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I have always had a rule in my house and it's no matter what another kid does at the end of the day you are only responsible for you and your behaviour, I will not pick or choose your friends but if you break the rules then it is you who will be punished.

    It has worked so far and not all of my kid's friends are the best, but they understand that it is only them who will feel the consequence so they think twice before acting.

    You're doing the right thing, but banning him from the other kid may not be the best answer.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:16 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • DONT LET YOUR SON PLAY WITH THE LITTLE SHIT ! THERES OTHER KIDS HE CAN PLAY WITH .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I realize that "boys will be boys", we used to throw stuff at cars too, I will not tell my son that! But considering society is just getting more tight in the ass, there are more people who would actually report things like this to the cops. I don't want my son in trouble with the law because he makes bad choices. It is MY job to make sure he makes the right choices. Like I said, there ARE other kids he can play with, but they all play with MIKE! Maybe I shouldn't let him play with Mike alone? I don't know...keep up with the answers, I'm still lost.
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:23 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Your son is his own person, he has to be taught the difference between right or wrong and it's your job as a parent to make sure he knows this. Seems like you are doing your job accordingly by punishing him. As far as the other kids there is nothing you can do about it except not allow your son to hang out with them. If your son is going to break under the peer pressure of this one kid and cause trouble then he shouldn't be allowed to play with this regardless of whether it's alone or with a group of other kids.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 12:28 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • You can't let your child hang out with a trouble maker just because he doesn't have any other friends.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 12:28 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

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