Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do if bio mom is like this?

I have a ss and he's called me mom for 5 years and my husband and I have raised him since day one.We take him to appts, enrolled him in school by us, etc. Bio mom really had nothing to do with him (enough so she could collect child support from us) and now that we have gone for full custody she all the sudden wants to be involved (because she doesn't get child support anymore) with everything and now has a big problem with him calling me mom when before she didn't as long as he knew the difference between us. (He does) She calls us when we have him and gives us a bunch of crap and really stresses us out. It feels like my private life has been invaded when it comes to taking him to his appointment and what ever else. It was always just my husband and I doing that and now she is there seeing and listening to everything. I feel I have no say so to anything dealing with him anymore. What would you do or how would you react??

Answer Question

Asked by griffinbb4 at 12:21 AM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I would be very upset about this as well, you've been the basic mother figure in his life for the past 5 years i mean wtf is wrong with this woman. She might of just realized how much of her son's life she has missed out on and that she wants to spend more time with him. If you so has custody of him then i certainly wouldn't be telling her about doctors apts etc, that would drive me nuts her sitting there with me acting like she gave a shit. Although you guys did say you were trying to get full custody rite now, so this could be just a phase for her because her lawyer or someone in her family told her to try to play the mommy roll so she wouldn't look as bad in court and hoping you guys might not get custody. I imagine that your court date is soon, i would probaly deal with her for now as nicely as possible (grin and bear it) and once you guys get custody cut her back alot from what she's doing, hope this helped good luck

    Answer by Bluesdawg02 at 12:37 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I would be upset too.
    But legally have to back down. The courts dont see you as anything. I know it sucks! trust me, i KNOW it sucks because i'm in a semi-similar situation. But just try push through it. There is NO smart move you can do, legally, to make things easier except just keep going.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:49 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • If we are gonna talk legally....If your stepson lives with you and your husband, how does SHE get child support? Find a way to prove that you've been the main providers for this child since day one, and sue HER for back child support. She owes you back what you've paid. Not that the money is the issue, but you shouldn't be paying her, for one, and for two, it would wipe that "I wanna be a mommy again smirk", right off her face, and the courts will make her back down.

    Answer by mumma28 at 1:05 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • What you are saying makes no sense. If the actual mom was collecting child support she clearly had her child in her care part of each week. How did you raise him since day one? You must have been the other woman and were with the childs father while he was still with the mom?

    I am a mom who hears her childs fathers wife complain about her on here daily. My childs stepparents claims I don't raise my child and she does it all when she only has my child 2 days a month if that. They only pay support because it is garnished and he is way behind. So I really don't put much stock in stories like these. You sound so much like my ex's new wife it is scarey.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • For Anonymous since she really must know. I was not that other woman. My husband was dating bio mom and then they broke up before he knew that she was pg. I met my husband 1 month before ss was born. The first day out of hospital we had him for the whole weekend. Then it was every other week for the whole week. Then it became when she only had him for 3 weekends out of a month. We paid child support because she was (is) collecting off the state so we had to pay cs in order for her to still collect all the $ for her self and other 2 kids while we paid for everything for ss out of our pocket. And she still ask for more $ by playing "after I buy my other two kids their stuff I don't have any money left for him" (isn't that $ we pay suppose to go for him?) and she didn't even have him. Oh are you even a step mom?? If not then you wouldn't understand any of this. You don't even know the whole story.

    Answer by griffinbb4 at 1:26 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • And for another thing we don't talk bad about bio mom around ss because we want him to still love his mom. So don't compare me to your ex's wife just because you are hateful.

    Answer by griffinbb4 at 1:29 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.