Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Withdrawing?

I'm in school 9 hours a day and studying for another 2-3 hours after classes are over. When I get home, I want dinner, a bath and quiet time; I'm just frazzled and exhausted. I forget to kiss my husband (SAHD) when I get home, I'm totally focused on school and studying. I have an A average so it's not like I'm doing all this for nothing, but I'm concerned that my proclivities are going to negatively impact our relationship. Husband is a saint and he's so proud of me and my accomplishments. Aside from leaving Post-It notes reading "Kiss the man!" on the mirror, how can I stop withdrawing and be more appreciative?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • On the nights you get a chance (weekends?) make one night a special night. You make dinner, maybe give him a backrub, foot rub, sex, if you can get a babysitter, go out on a date. Leave him notes in the morning saying you love him, so thankful for him.

    I leave my husband notes on his pillow at night (he works night shift). He loves it. He keeps them all.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 10:13 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Make and effort, and choose to do it. My hub worked 40 hours a week AND went to school, trust me there were times when I felt lonely, but he DID make an effort. You have to set aside some time for him
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:14 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Although it is wonderful that you are excelling to be the best you can be and achiving it, in the process someone or something always suffers. Make some time for hubby, tell him how much he is appreciated, make him feel good if only for a short time before you go back to exhausting routine. There needs to be a concious effort on your part to do this, when you get time to ease up do something special just for him, remind him that you now have this hectic life doesn't mean he is not loved, talk to the man and do something to reassure him that he is appreciated.
    When you have that pencil and paper on hand take a few minutes to write him a love note and leave it somewhere where he can easily see it, leave one on the windshield of his car, good luck!
    older

    Answer by older at 10:17 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Most successful students/people practice time management and schedule things. Write dh in to your schedule. He will appreciate that and it's a win/win situation
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:24 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • you need to be able to put in the effort.

    we have a little different situation, Hubby is the one who works 55+ hours a week.

    I'm a full-time student, but I don't let it take away from my family. I still have a house to keep up, laundry to do, meals to fix, a baby and a Husband to care for. Sometimes it seems to be just too much for me to handle...but he brings be back to earth.

    being in school/studying doesn't make excuse to not make time for your family. there's always time, you just need to make the effort and MAKE the time.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 11:56 AM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I am not being mean...but if you REALLY want something you JUST DO IT. I think you just make it a priority....when you come home i am sure you kiss your baby/babies ..now when you come home kiss your hubby too....its not that hard to show someone you think they are important...it takes only a few seconds to tell someone I love you. The house looks great. The kids look awesome. Come here and give me some sugar..you just have to WANT to do it. throw away the post-it.....and tomorrow when you come home just take a few seconds to tell him I LOVE YA and after a while it will just be so natural...as a SAHM I can tell you how awesome it feels when my hubby comes home and the first things out of his mouths are COMPLIMENTS....he notices my hard work, and it makes me WANT to do more for him and it makes my day. .I can also tell you how bad it feels when I deep clean the house or make a fabulous dinner and no one says anything. gl
    abbyg

    Answer by abbyg at 12:54 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Well I think you should put aside time each day to tell your hubs how much you love him, how much his support means to you, and tell him that you do appreciate him and all he does. Let him know that you could not do it without him, his support and his help. I am sure he probably understands you are caught up in school and homework right now. When you have some 'down time' - like on the weekend or on school break- why not treat your hubs to a night of pampering or a night on the town- just the 2 of you.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:47 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Do you do it all?

Next question overall (Food & Drink)
Foods at a baby shower?