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Ugh, how can I get past this? *adult issue*

I've been dating a guy for a few months now and we've been taking it slow. We've just now gotten to "heavy petting". I really like him, he's super sweet, we get along great and my DD likes him.

Problem is he is small. Seriously small. Deal breaking small if we hadn't already been dating this long.

He's mentioned that he's "good" at oral sex, but I really don't like that so where does that leave us?
IDK what to do :(
I dont want to be shallow, but good sex is important in a serious relationship and I'm not a cheater.
Any advise?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • i'd give it a try first and see if there are ways to work on it if it turns out to be an issue. but he may be so good at other areas of sex (w/his hands and mouth) that he ends up being just big enough to satisfy you. and it he's not, you can always introduce toys to the mix. but i wouldn't turn it into a deal breaker until you've actually had sex b/c you never do know. and yes i agree if you aren't satisfied it can turn into a problem, so you aren't shallow

    Answer by vabchmommy at 4:16 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • lol
    idk, but i have been takling to a guy who i am "taking it slow" with, and is also the first white guy i have dealt with in several years, and i am seriously worried about this too.
    i too dont wanna be shalow, but want to be satisfied in all areas

    good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Well, you havent had sex yet, so maybe he'll surprise you? Perhaps when it gets to that point and the smallness is an issue, you can try out some toys. If he's that great of a guy, figure out a way to make it work.

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 4:11 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I don't want to sounds shallow but if you are in a serious relationship, sex is important. Not the only thing but important. I don't know if I could do it. It depends on how small. Sorry, I know I sound shallow but its the truth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • that sux! theres alot of those pills out! i would be skeptical and research... but thats an option... and they have those extender devices too! good luk

    Answer by rahrahsmama at 4:14 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Hmm...I'm not sure if I have any advice. I've had those concerns too before. Thank goodness my SO is not small. But, are you sure he's small? I mean, have you seen it? How small? Maybe its not what you think and you can work past it. Sorry, wish I could be more helpful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Well, I have only had sex with my husband. I don't know anything about size and have nothing to compare it to. But I married the guy because I knew he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. Both of us were committed. If the sex wasn't great then we would work at making it better. We would try different things and make it the best it could be for the other person. Yes sex is important, but you learn and grow in that area with the person you love. You learn how to please him, and he better learns how to please you. It's a growing process and makes for great sex!!! It only can and does get better.

    Answer by micheledo at 4:18 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I really feel for you. I would be the same way. Sorry, I think once I saw it I'd know. And yes, if there is no good sex ...and no enjoyable sex with the dick....then itd be a deal breaker for me. Sorry to be graphic but even if he's good with his gotta be able to feel him...kwim? Just my opinion though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • wow, idk what to say besides if you are sure that this would be a issue down the line, then I would let it go. Sex is important but its not everything....think about it you can have a man who is packing like a horse and treat you and ur DD like sh*t. his "smallness" can be fixed, pumps i hear, works the best...or if all else fails u soak in a hot bath of Epsom salt...wont make you a virgin again, but you will defiantly feel him....either way its your choice...but just be smart and satisfy your happiness not ur sex drive.

    Answer by kiyad22 at 4:22 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • From personal experience, bigger is not better!!! It's how it's used. I'm not into the whole oral sex that much, so I was worried about how it would work out, too. But, 8yrs later, and 2 kids, I'm very satisfied!!! After getting over myself, and realizing that God makes everyone to fit how they should, I found out how much satisfaction he gives me. And not orally either. Just wait and see for yourself. But, remember, he'll be nervous about his size at first, so after a couple of goes, you both will get comfortable with each other, and who may be the best ever!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Sep. 20, 2009