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I promised my fiances dying grandmother that we would baptize our baby catholic

do we HAVE to pick godparents for her? Its causing a big debate in his family because a couple dif. ppl wanna be the godmother.

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Asked by gottalovemal at 5:46 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 17 (3,311 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'd say pick someone outside of the family. Because the family is...well, family, and that's not going to change. Pick someone, like a really good friend, who will be the godmother, and that way it's like another aunt for your DD. DH and I are not at all religious but we asked our friends to be "god"parents to our DD; they're kind of like extended family.

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 5:52 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • OK, this is the worse part of baptizing. It causes rifts, fights and hurt feelings.

    Here is my personal sound advice to you. Pick 2. One can be an honorary God parent. Pick the one you KNOW will encourage you to keep the church in your life. That is the purpose of a God parent.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • For a Catholic baptism you only need one practicing Catholic as a godparent and if you have two people they have to be one male and one female. I wanted both my sisters to be godmothers to my oldest daughter but that was not possible. So one is the offical godmother on the baptismal certificate and the other is the unoffical godmother - but both fulfill the role of godmother in that they pray for my daughter and help me raise her in the Catholic faith. I talked to both my sisters before hand so they both knew that even though only one of them is listed on the baptismal certificate I wanted both of them involved in praying for and helping with my daughter.

    Answer by eringobrough at 6:21 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • We christened our kids without godparents just for this reason!! But, we made provisions in our will for who will take care of our kids if we both die. It really doesn't matter who the god parents are, as long as you have clearly stated in your will who will raise your kids if you pass before they are 18!!!! I say this because that was the big family argument... who was going to raise the children when being a "god" parent has nothing to do with that. Good luck!


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Baptism of an infant is a solemn vow between the parents of a child and God that they will raise the child in that church and nurture their relationship with God. If you're not Catholic and/or are not prepared to do this, for me, I wouldn't do the baptism. I think his grandmother would understand but that's just my $0.02. This is your child and you need to do what you feel is spiritually best for your family; not please anyone else. I don't know the situation but I just felt like I needed to say that first.

    Anyway, people need to understand the stress that they put on others when they place expectations about being included in things like this. They need to realise that there are other family members who you are also considering and the fact that YOU have family that might want to be involved too! (cont.)

    Answer by NovemberLove at 9:09 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • On more than one occasion, I've had to gently remind a family member "if it's YOUR way or the highway, you're not really taking my feelings into consideration here...and isn't this MY [insert event here]? I'd hope as someone who loves me, you'd want me to do what makes me feel comfortable while understanding I still love you and cherish you, even if you don't get chosen for this particular [insert event here]."

    If it's that huge of a deal, I'd do it with no godparents. And your DH needs to be the one communicating your decisions to them. They'll never take something coming from you like they will from your DH, whom they've known their entire lives. I handle my family, my DH handles his, while we remain a united front in our decisions together. If one family member doesn't get chosen as a godparent, it isn't the end of the world and if they act like it is...would that person really have been a proper godparent anyway?

    Answer by NovemberLove at 9:13 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • OK two people telling you not to do it

    you are able to ask for church sponsors, or do as we did and pick the elders and tell the rest you are working your way down. The next baby born in the family will also need God parents.

    Unlike novemberlove said, the baptism in an initiation into the church and includes everyone. We are the what makes up the church. We pray and love our members.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Leave catholicism. Problem solved (in more ways than one).

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • We chose somebody who was not a family member to avoid anything like that. Also the people in our families who say they are Catholic, don't really practice and we wanted somebody who was going to take it seriously and would set a good example for our children so we picked one of my hubby's best friends. Just one for us right now.

    Answer by whittear at 9:51 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • "Leave catholicism. Problem solved (in more ways than one)."

    That's a great idea! Then your fiance's family will know that your word doesn't mean squat, it was ONLY a promise and she wouldn't know the difference now, right? (sarcasm) And they'll know that when things get a little tough that you just run away from them. I can see how that would solve everything. (sarcasm)

    eye rolling

    (Ignore the TROLL)


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

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