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Grandson diagnosed with lifethreatening disease and he may not survive. What to tell mother?

My 12 month old grandson was just diagnosed with a genetic immune deficiency disease. It wasn't a surprise - I have it and my three sons have it. So far my grandson has been healthy because he is breastfed but recently he has stopped growing.

My DIL is in denial. She went back to work 2 months ago and my son and I take care of my grandson. She is very focused on her work right now. She doesn't like doctors, sickness and hates hospitals. I have to get IVs every 3 weeks and am in the hospital several times a year.

The 20 year survival rate is only 64%. We know she doesn't have a clue but it would be easy to find on the internet. My son says to not tell her. I won't tell her! I think a mother should know if there is only a 64% chance her child will grow up. I think he should tell her.

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GailllAZ

Asked by GailllAZ at 6:54 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • I think not telling her would be a mistake....and if your son won't tell his wife, you may have to...because I don't think it's right of you or him to keep something that like from the child's mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • U NEED TO TELL THE MOTHER ! ! THATS NOT RIGHT HE SAYS NOT TO TELL HER , WHAT KIND OF HUSBAND IS HE , NOT A VERY GOOD ONE IF HE WANT TO KEEP STUFF LIKE THAT FROM HER THATS CHITY OF HIM ! ! ! TELL HER ! ! !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • It's not her place to tell the mother! The father said not to, it is HIS place to tell the mother!

    Yes, he should tell her.

    I am confused about one point. If she doesn't know, about what is she in denial? If she's in denial that the baby has this disease, then she's already been told. Did she not know when the baby was tested for it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I would not give up-I would find a naturopathic doctor ASAP. I also hate doctors and hospitals and all the conventional methods. I hope your GS is not vaccinated as that will not help his body fight this disease-it will leave his body defenseless as it fights the toxins in the vaccines.


    why tell her when clearly you have made it past 20 and so has the other people you mentioned?? She probably already knows.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Thanks all for the suggestions. I want to tell her but hope my son will do it in a reasonable amount of time. During recent conversations with him I've realized he is also in denial. The blood tests my grandson had were very conclusive and he knows it. I didn't mention he is a RN. I was a Medical Lab Technologist. Not so much denial as he is trying to figure out any way the lab tests could be so bad and his son not have the disease he gave him the genes for.

    We knew not to do immunizations. My son wanted him to have a tetnus when he started walking and the md told him all he could get was dpt. My son decided not to make a big deal out of it but now wishes he would have held out for the dt or not at all.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 6:28 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

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