Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 16 year old son has started to date his bestfriend but she is into drugs....?

My 16 year old son has started to date his best friend. And they have always been super close to each other and they have grown up together. Well come to find out this girl is into pot and meth i do not know if my son knows this or not but i do not feel comfortable with him around her. And i know if i force him to break up with her he will just rebel and still see her anyways. I am not sure how to go about this. I am not sure how to approach my son about this. How can i do this? Advice?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:19 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Just out of curiosity, how do you know she is doing drugs. I'm not trying to bash, I promise. But do you have absolute proof that she is doing them? Has she been arrested for it and you knwo this for a fact? I'm not talking about rumors or gossip. You don't want to bring this up to your son, and it not be true. You never know, however unlikely it may be, she could end up as your DIL one day. You won't want to start off having falsely accused her of drug use. I'd make sure I knew for sure before approaching my son.
    If you do have proof, undeniable proof, then You need to enforce the no drugs rule at your home. However as odd as this may sound, I wouldn't ban him from seeing her, It will make her more attractive. Who knows, what if your son helps her get straight?
    katzmeow726

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 12:47 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Well, chances are he does already know that she's into meth. All you can do is enforce that drugs are not acceptable in your house. that she is not welcome in your house when she is under the influence and that if he cares about her at all he will try to find her some help. Then have each of you come up with ways that she can get help. If he's involved in her recovery it will do wonders for both of them and their relationship.
    GL
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 7:22 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Seriously not to be mean, but he's probably on drugs or experimeting with them himself. If he has those types of people in his life the influence is there irregardless, he may be a great person and smart, but those people do drugs to, I'd have a serious talk with him about the road he's on and even take him to talk with a police officer he'd show you're son alot, and it would give him something to think about. The girl on the other hand wouldn't be allowed to call or come over at all, he might rebel but I'd sit with her and let her know you don't want her to be around your son that she is no good for him and she might as well go find someone else to bring down with her.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 7:57 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • He may not be on drugs. My longtime high school boyfriend and then fience got involved with drugs and I didn't. I broke it off, it broke my heart. I moved 300 miles away to finish college.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 8:21 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • And then you step in and tell him no. You may help the girl, but dating - no way. The next post from you will be that your son's girlfriend got him addicted to drugs.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 8:24 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Are you absolutely sure that this girl is into drugs, or is that a rumor? I would clarify that first. Then, if it is true, I would very tactfully try to find a way to end it. You are right, your son may rebel if you just forbid the relationship. But, maybe if you sit both of them down and talk to them together...if she really is on drugs, she may show a side of her your son has not seen (or does not want to see) yet if confronted. That may make him react. Maybe he is trying to help her out, or, in the worst case, as a pp said, he may already be involved. This is why you need to step in now. Good luck.
    PrincesaBoricua

    Answer by PrincesaBoricua at 8:43 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I think you need to talk to him and don't assume it's just her... if she's using then there is a good chance your son is doing something... maybe not meth but chances are really good he is smoking pot. Most of the people I hung out with myself included smoked pot and we did know someone who did herion we weren't... but we still drank and smoked. The people who went to school with us that didn't smoke or drink didn't hang out with us.
    MomofWildcats

    Answer by MomofWildcats at 9:45 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • druggies come in packs and if your son has been hanging out with her his whole life i'd say he's at least experimenting. I would talk to him about drugs and doing the right thing and having respect for himself and his new girlfriend. I think that you guys need to have a little more open dialog about these kinds of things. Talk to him about his feeling about drugs, people that do drugs, what could happen if you do them. Before anything i would make sure that it's not a rumor and she is in fact leading that kind of lifestyle. It should be pretty obvious, wether she is or not. You can tell by their behavior, what they say the way they say it, their complexion, their demeanor. Do your research before you start accusing his girlfriend of something that you can't really take back.
    mrsjonzy

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 9:54 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I agree with some of the above statements. If this were some girl he were dating and didn't know her very long, then maybe there would be a chance that he wouldn't know she's into drugs. But if they've been close friends for a while, not only does he know she's doing drugs, but most likely he is too.

    You need to put your foot down. No more contact or communication with this girl...period. Find out how involved your son is with drugs and whether he needs treatment or counseling. Then get him active and involved with a healthy extra curricular activity and encourage him to make new friends.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:32 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Kids hate rules. But they do fear consequences. Chances are, if you tell him anything, he won't listen or believe you. Maybe there is an attorney at your church or in your neighborhood? Have a lawyer tell him how much is costs to handle a pot charge, how police are allowed to conduct searches, how he goes to jail if she has pot in his car, even if he isn't smoking it. If some neutral 3rd party tells him the truth (not the urban legends kids share in high school) he'll crap his pants. Seriously. He's not going to listen to you bc teenagers are morons. I wouldn't ask a cop to tell him these things bc high school kids distrust cops.

    12 years of probation and weekly drug testing and the inability to apply for federal student loans and $7000 in court fees and 2 years of community service is NOT worth a girl with pot in her pocket in your car!!! (that's the law where i live)
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 12:03 AM on Sep. 21, 2009