Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

hubby vs baby

ok so i have a newborn and she takes up alot of time iknew she would but i think my husband is havin a hard time dealin with me not spendin as much time with him now that the baby is here i know the baby comes first but i dont want him to feel neglected either you know PLEASE HELP!!!!

Answer Question
 
mom2kaydence09

Asked by mom2kaydence09 at 8:08 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Welcome to Motherhood. I know it doesn't make it better but most women with partners go through this. Reassure him how much you love him. Let him know you appreciate anything he is doing to help. He is missing the 1:1 time with you but recognition and love can help. A lot. make time to cuddle, even if it is only 10 minutes.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:13 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • if he feels that way have him help with the baby! Get him to assist with things. sometimes dads can feel left out because moms are just doing their thing with the baby & they dont know what to do so they can feel like a 3rd wheel.. have him bath her a few nights a week. change diapers. rock her. read to her. go on walks with the baby together.. babies usually love that & you 2 can hold hands kiss ect in the park (very sweet!)....
    Dont forget to tell him you appreciate what he does & your so thankful for how great a dh / df he is!
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 8:15 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • You need to remember that neglecting your relationship with your husband will impact your child. Your child deserves two happy parents who are in a good marriage. Newborns do sleep often, make it a point to hug and kiss your husband when you can. Or just sit and relax to watch a movie with him. Let him know that you miss having so much time with him.
    FL2AK

    Answer by FL2AK at 8:16 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • you need to bite this in the bud asap girl. i know a couple who went through this, and the mom didn't do anything but be with the baby, makin the dad jealous. needless to say it ended up in divorce. one mistake she did was let the baby sleep with her every night. this takes away couple time. try to take one day a week, and after the baby goes to bed, have a game night, or whatever you like doing as a couple. even if it is just for a couple hours, when she wakes up, feed her, put her back to sleep, and resume where you left off. also do what one of the pp's said. have him help you out with the baby, change a diaper, give her a bath ( NOT with you hovering over his shoulder correcting him, this will just make it worse) even if daddy doesn't do something the way you would do it, don't say anything, he's trying!. or if he does something wrong. just laugh it off and correct him without being judgemental. he's learning too, like you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • thank you so much all these answers have been very helpful because i dont want my husband to feel neglected or become jealous of the baby i know it is no good for me him or the baby so thank you much
    mom2kaydence09

    Answer by mom2kaydence09 at 8:28 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • You have to learn to balance the two. When she's napping spend time with him. Try to get her in to a bed time routine that will allow for your husband and you to spend some time together. Find a sitter for a couple hours one day and just dote on your hubby. You HAVE to balance the two of them.

    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 9:14 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • Get him involved. Diapering and bathing are EXCELLENT daddy tasks.

    But he needs to grow up a bit, too. Baby is TWO WEEKS OLD. He needs to get over hismelf and pitch in and understand that the woman he married died when you gave birth...and regenerated as You 2.0:The Mom Edition. That means changes. He should have also morphed.

    BTW...co-sleeping is NOT a mistake unless the couple is not mature enough.

    I do agree about a game night or something similar. My hsband actually fed me every night. I never had a free hand for the first few weeks, so he fed me.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:16 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • My son sleeps with us and instead of making either of us jealous, when we all lay down together and snuggle it makes us realize how much more special it is that 2 became 3. You will begin to see it this way and so will your husband. Having a new person in your life 24/7 takes some getting used to. Take time out for just the two of you and let DH weigh in on parenting.

    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 9:31 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN