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My eight year old is driving me nuts!!!!!!!!

My 8 yroldSD is chasing me and her father to the end of our rope. She came to live with us in may 2008 and had a lot of problems which we dealt with. She has gone from the normal kid stuff and being perfectly pleasant to doing whatever she pleases regardless of the punishment. Get this, she lies, not the normal "I'm in trouble so I'm going to lie to get out of it kid lies" full blown insane lies, she takes our things and hides them behind her bed, she is more than capable of doing her school work but only does it if she wants. We have put her in the corner, taken toys, spanked, anything and everything. SD's seen a therapist and I've asked her ped. about it no one has answers. Today she came down and asked if I had toilet paper because she was out.So I asked how long she had been out in her bathrm. 3DAYS !!! She knows she can get it if she's out but again didn't want to so she pooped and didn't wipe !8yrs! WTF? adviceplz!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Good for you mothers above that are actually trying be supportive and help this woman. So often women are petty and write crap like "well you sound like the evil stepmother? poor cinderella! how could you use your dd for a joke? tmi " .... Way to go women. And as for the person who initially posed the question. Hang in there , Just the fact that you reached out to strangers for help and advice on making your situation better, shows that you are a caring person. It shows that you have the best interest of the child in mind.Hope everything turns out well for you!!!
    krock107

    Answer by krock107 at 1:02 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • well you sound like the evil stepmother? poor cinderella! how could you use your dd for a joke? tmi
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I'm not using her for a joke are you kidding how could you make this up? Did you see "lol" or "j/k" in that paragraph, nope don't think so. I'm out of ideas not trying to exploit my child! I'm serious what do you do with a child that doesn't wipe their butt at eight years old? It's not like she doesn't know how or something she just didn't want to. I don't understand why she's acting out. We sit down with her and talk to her, play games, help with homework and she just has these times where she decides hey I'm going to do what I want and I don' t care how I'm punished.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • haha im a stepmom to an eight year old girl as well. they sound quite similar. you are totally going to get bashed on her for that i know because when mine was giving me trouble i said she was being an asshole and yeah these moms dont help there assholes too. anyways you just have to keep punishing her, once she thinks she can rule you then she is going to act out. but try and find out why she is being that way. you and her go out somewhere get nails done or hair then go to lunch just pamper her for a day then that night talk to her. i did this with my stepdaughter and we worked everything out. she still has her moments but we are getting threw them.
    ALLIE637

    Answer by ALLIE637 at 2:18 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • My 7 year old (boy) is driving me nuts. Everyone keeps telling me "just do what you are doing, he will learn." UGH....... Personally I think with it being a step-daughter she is really testing limits. I agree with the pp about spending the day together, just the two of you then talking to her. Or if you could make the outting a regular thing-----even if it's just monthly and it doesn't always have to involve spending money----go walk the mall or go to the park and pack a picnic lunch. Something so the two of you can become closer and hopefully in time things will change for the better. Good luck
    lissa27504

    Answer by lissa27504 at 2:12 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Thank you guys that helps
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • step daughters can be a challenge. My last bf had three girls and we were together for about two years so I was essentially an stepmom to them. It was an on and off relationship with those kids. They were ridiculously spoiled so as long as we had every moment of their weekend visit packed with fun things to do then they liked me. But if I didnt have the money or the gas to do anything or if I just had to work the whole weekend then they threw fits, sulked, cried basically anything they could to make us miserable. I know this may sound silly but SOMETIMES if you just ignore the bad behavior and praise whenever she does anything good it COULD turn things around.
    Of course this is just a guess but I do wish you lots of luck!!! I know how frustratingit can be when you have to deal with kids that arent yours
    SaturnsMom

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 11:15 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I think there are two things going on here. a plea for help and some high drama.
    obviously you're struggling to feel in control at your house. that is worthy of concern and our respect.

    natural consequences are the best. That's exactly what happened with the bathroom. She didn't have tissue in the bathroom for 3 days. she didn't wipe. she finally had enough (probably pain and irritation) and asked for toilet paper. while we confound at her choice to wait, the fact is, she didn't throw a tantrum according to you, but asked for more. BRILLIANT! (some moms might have read that and felt you were too focused on something that.)
    consequences. don't get your homework done? won't have time for tv... not a punishment, but what happens because her first job is to be a student.
    don't finish your chores, don't go out to play with friends. not for punishment, but because we all live in the house and have to contribute
    trishmused

    Answer by trishmused at 7:44 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

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