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Should I push the marriage issue/ another child issue?

I've been with this guy for 6 years and I would like to get married and have another kid. He already has 2 and I have 1 froma previous relationship. He doesn't want another one, said i have a better chance to get married than have another kid.... financially I cannot afford either, but I want one of them if not both. What do you think?

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Asked by hopeforacure at 11:41 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • If you've been together 6 years, I'd probably move on. If I guy had to be pressured into getting married and didn't want another child, and those things were important to me, then I wouldn't spend anymore time with him, I'd rather be free so that I could meet a guy who actually wanted to marry me, and wanted to have a child with me.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:45 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • just do it! get married then wait and see?if you love him?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • I've been with my SO for 5 years and before we had our son he was all about getting married to me. We talked about it all the time and he even told his father he was going to marry me sometime after his ex wife signed the divorce papers (she delayed as long as she could to punish him, the judge forced her to sign them 2 years after he filed). After I had our son I mentioned getting married and he said "I don't want to get married again, its just a piece of paper, why can't we live like this? That piece of paper doesn't mean I love you any more than I do without it". It really irritates me because I know he didn't want to have anymore kids, hes got 2 from his previous marriage, but I think that he believes that having a kid in the mix makes it a bad situation because hes afraid I'll do to him what his ex has done by using the kids as ammunition against him to get what she wants. Good luck to you girl.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • You've been in it this long and he's still not wanting to have a child or marriage to you... your odds of either happening in the future are getting more and more slim. So you're going to just have to decide... is this enough for you? If it is, then one of you get "fixed" and be done with it... if it's not, then move on and find someone who wants the same things you do. If you want more children, don't wait too long. My gyno told me that when a woman reaches 27 or 28 her fertilty decreases steadily till menopause so don't wait too long.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:19 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Oh for pete sake lisa ann I had my last child at 33 and I am not 35.That is a bunch of bull.I am in perfect health and he told me I could have more kids if I want.Your gyno is wrong.I think your man should have already asked you to marry him.I say you should sit down and talk to him seriously.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Thanks ladies, but it is funny because I've had the "talk" with him time after time and I have tried on many occasions to get rid of him, he is like the lost puppy that won't leave. lol sorry
    Anyhow, I think he is kinda waiting to see if it will last past the 7 year mark, since his relationship with his childrens mother lasted that long. I dunno I think he is waiting for his friends to tie the knot before him. btw he is 33 and I am 28.

    Answer by hopeforacure at 8:46 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

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